Cynicism

Time In A Day...

2012-01-27T01:43:00.001+08:00

Time isn't a commodity.

Time isn't a luxury.

Time waits for no entity.

Time has not, its boundary.

Eighty six thousand four hundred seconds,

A thousand four hundred and forty minutes.

How much time do we waste on dead ends?

How long do we spend on our favourites?

I know how I'd spend my time.

No, I won't go joyriding or moonlighting.

I'd try to remember every rhyme,

And put them into a song to sing.

Right now, I feel I'm living off borrowed time.

One day is as good as any other now.

I could be an actor or a mime,

But, in the end, we reap what we sow.

For every second that passes me by,

I'll hope to see a sparkle in your eye.

For every minute that goes,

I hope you'll know my love for you grows.

For every hour that I think of you,

For every day I hope you do too.

For all the words that I can say,

For all my time in a day.

I pray you be happy and carefree

I wish you the best of luck, come what may

I hope you'll always remember me

For all your time in a day...

words...

2012-01-02T06:04:00.002+08:00

happy new year...or is it...

Piece of advice, be wary of the words you use...it can really hurt even if you're not intentionally wishing for it to hurt at all.

Here's a lesson - sometimes in life, when you feel down and think that your best friend may just cheer you up, quickly disregard that thought. Seriously, just toss it outta your head. One, your best friend may just have better things to do than talk to you and listen to your woes. Two, it never solves your problem, period. And three, you're really better off just being alone.

2011

2011-12-26T13:31:00.003+08:00

Photographs and memories...Christmas cards you've sent to me...all that I have are these, to remember you.

A year's come and gone and what's left are just memories of the times we've had...of the tears we've shed. I've taken a break from my usual poet mode and I've decided to be long winded as well as more nostalgic-esque in this December/Christmas blog entry.

Looking back on the year, it's been rather fun...at times painful, but on the whole, it's been rather fun(and downright horrible, but let's not go there). So, we've come to the point in life some of us optimists may come to describe as the "another beginning comes from some other beginning's end" metaphor. Back in my hardcore cynical days, I'd snort at this theory and, frankly, just go all out to prove that life is a never ending year after year struggle for survival.

Bear with me, dear readers(if there are any at all), I've been lax on my blog entries recently and I've gotta make up for it now...somehow. I've come to realise lately that age is really starting to jump on my back and hump the hell outta life...yes, I just used "hump", it's one of the privileges that comes with age - the ability to use kick ass grown up words and not worry about anybody telling you to 'watch your tongue, young man'. On the down side, everything I do seems to take longer and I don't do too well staying up long nights anymore...but don't we all face episodes like that every now and then?

There, I think three paragraphs and a header ought to repay my debt writ from neglecting this little blog.

Now, to the actual reason I'm writing this post. I'm gonna try sounding matured, sophisticated, deep and wise...maybe one at a time, or all at once...not sure how that will go, so let's find out.

2012. Some say the world ends then. I'm not sure if I should be glad and usher it in, or to be sad and disdainful for the stupid things we as humans have done to our world to have set this disaster in motion. Whatever said and done, I don't really regret my life thus far...nor would I like to prolong it unnecessarily. If it is indeed time to go, I know I'll leave here with a smile and hope we meet again in some other life on some other planet that God's kept in store.

All things considered, I'm glad 2011's coming to an end. Who knows what the future holds for us all...I most certainly don't, but I'm willing to embrace whatever God or life(or both of em at the same time) throws at me.

It's been fun writing in this blog of mine here. Thanks for sparing me your time...till we meet again, see ya.

Concealed...

2011-10-17T21:15:00.007+08:00

September night,

I watched you put up a good fight.

As we walked side by side,

Feeling your sadness, I wanted to hug you tight.

I've seen the way you smile,

You've let me heard your laugh.

Hoping to be with you may be a fool's dream,

So, the memories of you will be more than enough.

You may never know,

How you make my heart go.

Nor will you see,

What you mean to me.

Perhaps you never will

And I'll keep dreaming still.

For just to bask in your company,

Will be my moment in eternity.

An angel you truly are.

I've seen the world over

And they all pale by far.

I now just dream; wishing you'll be my clover.

But reality beckons.

So I shall keep my hopes sealed,

Inside my heart where it reckons;

Concealed...

Forever...

2011-10-04T16:17:00.003+08:00

Roads and rivers pass by me,
Lines and trees passing by thee.
Worlds apart we may all be,
Right now, it's you, me and her, three.

Days pass one at a time.
Slowly, the hourglass empties.
As what's left of life is put into rhyme,
And devoid of feelings are our sympathies.

Walking down this one way street,
I'm met with a church and a one armed bandit.
Try my luck or let Lord's company be mine treat?
Decisions, decisions...which should I give credit?

In the middle was a clearing, emitting light.
It shone the way, clear and bright.
At the end stood an angel, dark as night.
And Him, whispering in my ear telling me what's right.

Beckoning me towards Him, I walked.
Lead me astray, He will never.
But how much faith do i really have left?
Will it be enough to last forever?

Little Things...

2011-09-09T23:46:00.003+08:00

Annoying and clingy, I find thee not.

The words I say, the things I do,

May hurt you, but I don't mean to besot.

For in this life, the only love I love, is you.

You think love may be big and hard to comprehend,

But I say, for you, there's nothing to contend.

It is, after all, the little things you do

That makes it all worth the while, it's true.

The way you laugh when you're happy,

The look in your eyes as you smile.

The way your hair falls on your face,

To your adorable speaking style.

Mornings when the sun rises over my horizon

I am reminded of your beauty and grace.

Nights when the stars adorn the moon,

It reminds me of your embrace.

So many things I could say,

So many things I could do.

It's never the big things that matter anyway

Because I love everything I see in you.

Love may be a big hurdle,

Love may not be all it sings,

But one thing I'm sure,

You're perfect because of these little things...

Song...

2011-08-08T20:41:00.002+08:00

Can you sing a song for me?

To brighten my day and let me see.

How many songs would there be?

One for love, life and family, three.

Of all the songs written,

None I know describes you.

Of everyone's charms I've been smitten,

None came close to yours, it's true.

If every line in a poem makes a song,

Would it be of forgiveness or of disdain?

In this life we live, I guess we can't tell for long

Lies which cover up those we've slain.

A song, a song, a song.

Mine won't be very long.

All I have is your love and that's all I shall sing

For it's the strength you gave me to face any suffering.

If loving you, to them, is wrong,

I care not for it's our bond.

And we'll keep it strong

All in our song...

I love you too...

2011-08-04T00:36:00.000+08:00

--------------------------------------

She had always liked him

But never truly knew why

He never talked to her

His friends had made her cry

She smiled at him in the hall

He just turned his head

He did not care about her

Is what he always said

But she kept her chin up

And she loved him still

Because she knew what was inside

A hole that she could fill

His friends soon caught word

Of her feelings toward him

They found it hysterical

But her love did not dim

She knew that she was better

Than what they thought she was

But still her heart was his

For reasons she knew not of

She slowly became more forlorn

Slipping deep into a hole

He was still ignoring her

Breaking her delicate soul

But her love did not falter

She always thought of him

But all the rumors about her

Put her closer to the brim

On the final day

His friends played a trick

Told her that he loved her

Just to watch her tick

Sadly she believed them

And she was overjoyed

Little did she know

That it was all a ploy

She went up to him

To make sure that he knew

That she knew how he felt

And that she loved him too

He did not understand

So all he did was stare

Telling her repeatedly

That he really did not care

She was finally over the edge

She knew it could not be true

I thought they said he loved her

But deep inside she knew

She could not comprehend

How to go on living her life

So she went in to the kitchen

Pulled out the sharpest knife

She screamed into the air

This is not how it should be

She screamed all the things

That she wished that he would see

She spoke of her love

She cried of her pain

She whispered of what happened

How it could never be the same

And with her last strength

She scribbled her final note

She explained everything

And this is what she wrote:

Take the shining knife,

And cut open my wrists

Watch the blood flow out

It couldve ended with a kiss

Take the bloody knife

Write words into my skin

Tell me that you hate me

Make the pain begin

Take the knife and hold it up

So that everyone can see

That this is the pain

You were always causing me

She watched the blood pour out

Collapsing on the floor

Little did she know

That he was at the door

He did not get an answer

As he screamed her name

He told her he was sorry

What he said was really lame

He did not want to give up

He wanted her to know

That he really did like her

Just did not let it show

He did not care about his friends

They were not his anymore

So please, wont you please

Just open the damn door

He walked to the window

Saw her lying there

He pounded on the glass

Crying in despair

He broke through the glass

And knelt down on the floor

Looking at the girl

He had always adored

Desperately calling for help

She was still alive

He tried to bandage wounds

Please God let her survive

He held her so close

As the ambulance drew near

I really do love you

He whispered in her ear.

Please dont give up

I'll try to help you through

We will make it work

You know I love you too.

--------------------------------------

A friend of mine showed it to me some time ago...it reminds me never to do that to her...

If...

2011-07-03T18:14:00.002+08:00

If life ended tomorrow,
Would you worry about it today?
If all you had was sorrow,
Would you die in dismay?

If choices weren't made in hurry,
Would they have been any different?
If we're wrong, all we can say is sorry,
Then what of the belligerent?

If today was your last day,
What last words have you?
If you had your way,
Would this world be led the same way too?

Death, it's painful, it's hell.
Perhaps not to the dead,
But to us who knew them well.
Sigh, who can predict what lies ahead?

Take not those around you for granted,
Show them they're loved and appreciated.
In the end, life is his bait,
For death, we wait...

Starry night...

2011-06-28T18:32:00.002+08:00

Starry, starry night.
Clear skies in sight.
Birds of freedom, take flight.
For all that may change, tonight.

Factories shall spit into the air we breathe,
Cars will roar and their drivers seethe.
Death might claim us with his mask and sanguine scythe,
There's nothing we can do but scream and writhe.

Will you make a stand?
Will you take my hand?
Let us rebuild this land,
With azure skies and clear sand.

Weariness

2011-05-09T19:59:00.003+08:00

Life goes up, life goes down.

We may laugh, we may frown.

There'll be times we try to leave town,

But, one thing for certain, life'll turn you around.

Rolling down this highway, trees passing me by.

Paints a sight of never ending miles.

Thinking of life, I let out a sigh,

Sometimes, I do get envious of all those smiles.

Is happiness really that hard to obtain?

Is love really that unacceptable?

Is being in love a crime?

Is it wrong to like someone who makes you feel comfortable?

All these questions, all this pain.

Makes me wish I can let go of life;

To be washed away in God's rain.

To end all this strife.

It's getting tiresome,

The life led isn't one I want.

It's getting harder and bothersome.

Weariness dawns on me with its full grant.

Love, it's what I live for now.

Not that of parents, that doesn't exist anymore.

It's her love to me that gets me past this row.

Now, she's my life...and so much more.

Chance Choice...

2011-03-20T02:52:00.004+08:00

A friend once told me "it's not what we are that defines us, but rather what we do to be what we are that defines us as a person". Believe it or not, we live in a world that's selfish, cold and cruel.

I was known as Officer Jansen of the Mississippi Police force. This story is a story of love, of selflessness and of sacrifice.

I was given a call one day at the office on the 17th of March 1993; the call came in from the local hospital. The nurse on the line told me that my then girlfriend had fainted in our apartment and had hit her head on the kitchen stove.

I hung up the phone and rushed straight to the hospital to inspect the extent of my girl's injuries. To my despair, the doctors told me that she had suffered severe blood loss due to the prolonged opening of her wound and that she would be in a coma for some time.

That night, when I returned home, I felt that emptiness that usually came with an empty heart...longing for a love that would never return. For those of you who do not know, my girl and I were dating in secret for the past seven years of our life. Her parents didn't want her to marry a guy whom she would have to stay up at night worrying whether or not he will return...or whether or not he will celebrate their child's birthday together.

In the end, the both of us eloped to Mississippi where we lived a happy life for almost four years now. It was just me, her, our kid - Aston, and our pet dog "Beagle". Although it wasn't a mansion that we lived in, we were contented with living in a little cottage by the sea.

A few weeks after my wife was checked into the hospital, the doctors there detected some anomalies in her blood and concurred that she had a problem in her liver...which meant that she needed a liver transplant.

Naturally, when she married me, it was against her parents' wishes and therefore, getting either of them to donate an organ for their outcast daughter was out of the question. So, I volunteered myself to be tested as a perspective organ donor.

The good news was, my liver was compatible with my wife's and that meant that I could let her live. But the bad news was - it would be at the cost of my life.

After all, we had promised each other..."to cherish and to hold, to love and honour, in sickness and in health, from this day on, till death do us part". What kind of man would I be if I just left her here to battle this by herself without helping her out.

It was on the morning of the 21st of June 1993 that I pulled my rookie along with me to the hospital to visit my wife. When we got there, I pulled my gun on one of my wife's attending doctor and fired a round into the air. This time I warned my rookie that I would kill the doctor if he didn't stop me.

Being the rookie he was, he actually ended up calling for SWAT backup just to disarm me. When the big guns arrived, I fired a shot into the air and gave them the same warning, all the while using the doctor as my shield.

After a thirty minute standoff, I decided to put an end to it. I whispered into the doctor's ear - "remember, use my liver for Elanore...and never tell her or my son what happened to me". After saying those words, I threw the doctor aside and rushed towards the sea of rifles aimed at me with my gun still in hand.

It didn't take long for the SWAT team to recognise that the doctor was out of harm's way and opened fire on me.

After all the smoke died down, I was looking down at my own body and I saw the doctor rushing towards me while two SWAT officers trying to restrain him.

In the end, my liver was transplanted to my wife and she now lives a fulfilling life with our son Aston.

Valentine...

2011-02-12T21:37:00.003+08:00

Snow falls on the boulevard,

Saying goodbyes and handshakes.

Shouldn't be this hard,

Just one tear is all it takes.

There she goes,

On a journey to a new land.

Our love may be the only thing she knows,

To not be lost in its vast ocean of sand.

Whether it be in the west,

Or she go to the east.

The distance apart will be our test,

We shall overcome it and we shall feast.

Though great, the distance apart, our love shan't wane.

In the end, only our love shall shine divine.

Will you walk with me down this lonely lane,

Will you be my valentine...

Stardust

2011-01-30T01:38:00.002+08:00

Twinkle, twinkle oh so bright.

Be mine star, be mine tonight.

Leave thine worries far from sight,

Come with me and everything will be alright.

Sitting here by the beach, thinking.

Feeling sorrow, remorse burden my heart.

Remembering your words, still sinking,

Pulling us ever further apart.

Remembering all we used to be,

Now, it's only me.

Wishing that someday, you'd see,

How much I long for thee.

Dark clouds gather above.

Heaven cries in pain.

For us and for our love.

For our efforts that were in vain.

What happens next, nobody knows,

It'll be a lesson learnt.

Whichever way the river now flows,

It'll keep me from being burnt.

Who She Will Be...

2010-12-17T17:30:00.006+08:00

As he looks into the mirror someday,

He sees his past and remnants of sorrow; dismay.

Written on his face, clear as day,

Apprehension and words that no soul will say.

As he dons his tuxedo and grooms his hair,

He is reminded of how he always had her to do so.

But that was when she was still there.

Now, years passed since, but he still feels the blow.

He's fallen twice before.

He loves them still,

But they wanted him no more.

And left him without any will...

A guitar key chain clings tightly to his cellphone.

The last gift from his past lyrical lover.

A tiny fragment of his heart left beating still.

After they both told him "it's over".

He's still afraid to love,

Not willing to be hurt anymore.

But now he's to marry a dove.

And only she knows what's in store.

As the church bells ring,

And the choir begins to sing.

He hears an angel's warning,

And he sees the devil calling.

To cherish and to hold,

To protect and to love.

She would be the third girl he told,

That he would love from Sea to heaven above.

There she stands at the altar,

With face veiled and hands shaking nervously.

Surely neither will falter.

But neither him nor I am sure of who 'she' will be...

The Letter...

2010-11-26T21:30:00.003+08:00

Pardon me, I'm lost and need a listener.

Someone who can listen to me without judging.

You see, I have to send my girl this letter.

But, I don't know if I still got her loving.

I've let her down, I fear.

She's always loved me and held me dear.

Yet, I couldn't do anything to stop her leavin',

Leaving me with a heart a-breakin'.

For a while, I couldn't breathe.

It was like my world came crashing down.

I was numbed by pain and writhe,

No sound came, and I wore a frown.

I should have stopped her from leaving.

I should have treated her better before she left.

I was blind, not knowing she was suffering.

Perhaps she's better off now, without worry of death.

I wonder how she is now, if she's alright.

I'd tell her I'm fine.

If only I could see her tonight,

I'd hug her tight, kiss her and make her mine.

Though I try to move on, with another.

Somehow, the emptiness remains.

The closeness we had once, now grown further.

And now I'm left with this pain and tear stains.

She looks rather like her, the eyes especially.

She has her laugh, her smile, her scent.

I try to move on, but I don't know if I'll be hers entirely.

Tell me what Love is, should it hurt to this extent?

I've been so lonely for so long, and now she's in my life.

To mend my broken heart and accompany me.

Though I know not of the future or if she will be my wife,

I can only hope that forever in love we will be.

I feel so guilty trying to forget her.

Sigh, I don't know what to do.

Yet, I can't live without the other.

I am kept awake by rue.

You see, I've written a letter for my girl.

To ask for her to forgive me, in case she hasn't.

To tell her I love another girl.

But I can't seem to find the postbox to heaven.

Farewell...

2010-11-19T21:43:00.002+08:00

Grey streaked skies;

Sadness lined with pain.

Hidden by masks and lies,

Covering up every tear stain.

Handshakes all 'round,

Tears flowed freely towards ground.

As we hugged each other farewell without a sound,

And hoped each had a brighter future to be found.

She seemed happy today...

I'm glad to see she's moved on.

Perhaps a very long time from now, I'll say.

That my pain has fully gone.

But for now, I'll have to carry this broken heart.

With nowhere to seek asylum,

I don't know where to start.

To heal my pain from becoming numb...

I hope she finds happiness, wherever she may be.

I hope he treats her right.

I hope she doesn't remember me,

All the times we had and I hope he keeps her warm at night.

I'm sorry that I couldn't do more.

I'm sorry you had to suffer when you were with me.

I'm sorry, all I can do now is adore,

You from across this painful sea.

Perhaps I'll learn to forget you in time.

But my heart will never feel the same,

For anyone else, because you have tamed me.

And you alone are worth more to me than fame.

Farewell, my Valentine.

I've resorted to this wandering life of mine,

For I can't forget you and how you looked divine.

He is lucky to have you, a wife so fine.

Rain accompanies me,

As I cry for a love lost.

A strike of lightning may set me free,

Because death is the only price for love and I'll bear that cost...

...

2010-11-11T21:56:00.003+08:00

The Script has got a few songs that really fit my mood lately...coincidence?

Sigh...

2010-11-08T21:30:00.002+08:00

I am resigned to my fate.

Lord, do with me as you please.

For I have suffered at your mercy, of late.

So, end it all already and grant me release.

I haven't been able to sleep lately.

Perhaps these nightmares are getting worse.

Or is it because I miss her so madly,

That I have been damned with this curse?

Let's face it, I've had happier days.

We've held hands and more than that.

But these days, I find myself counting the ways,

To letting you go; so you won't be sad.

I love her, truly.

She's perfect, to me.

Yet, no matter how I love her deeply,

Fate has decided that we're never to be...

If I let her go now,

She may still be able to find happiness.

Although I may never love again; never know how.

In my heart she will stay and I will live in sadness.

Sigh, you'd be better off with someone who can give you more.

Though I really don't want to do this,

I have no choice, but to admire you from the shore.

As you journey with him to eternal bliss...

Maybes And Chances Gone By...

2010-11-02T00:16:00.004+08:00

Ink smear as tears drip onto paper,
Leaving behind opportunities that would've been.
Casually discarding it into a shredder,
Removing all trace, preventing it from being seen...

Gone are the days when we would watch the sun rise.
Oh, how I long for them to return.
For me to be there sitting by your side in paradise,
And watch Nero play the fiddle while Rome would burn.

But, alas, only empty memories remain...
Of fires and treacherous rains.
Oh, we braved them all and fought the pain.
Now, we're over the ruins and pioneering plains.

Sometimes, in darkness, I cry myself to sleep.
Memories play in my head, of us...
I guess, our memories together are all I have left to keep.
Perhaps, perhaps...I'll paint them in every verse.

Rain's tapping on my window pane,
Telling me that heaven's cries will heal my pain.
So, I took a long walk in the heavy rain,
Hoping that it carries my tears to a nearby drain...

Innocence...

2010-10-27T20:39:00.002+08:00

Strolling along in an old park,

Shrieks of joyous laughter of children's hearts.

Shine like sparklers in the blinding dark,

Such is the innocence that sets us all apart.

Sitting down on a bench to rest,

I smiled at a couple walking past.

Each carried a baby close to their chest,

Others walking hand in hand wishing their moments would last.

I see them all and I think of us...

Of how we were so happy together.

But they say we were not meant to be,

And leaving me would be better.

How did it get to this stage?

Is it wrong for us to be happy?

Would they rather we jumped this ledge?

But I promise you it won't just be a memory.

Everly Brothers - Crying In The Rain...

2010-10-23T21:20:00.001+08:00

I'll never let you see,
The way my broken heart is hurtin' me.
I've got my pride and I know how to hide,
All my sorrow and pain.
I'll do my cryin' in the rain.

If I wait for cloudy skies,
You won't know the rain from the tears in my eyes,
You'll never know that I still love you so,
Though the heartaches remain,
I'll do my cryin' in the rain

Rain drops fallin' from heaven,
Could never wash away my misery.
But since we're not together,
I look for stormy weather,
To hide these tears I hope you'll never see.

Some day when my cryin's done,
I'm gonna wear a smile and walk in the sun.
I may be a fool but till then darling you'll,
Never see me complain,
I'll do my cryin' in the rain.

I'll do my cryin' in the rain,
I'll do my cryin' in the rain.

2010-10-22T19:33:00.002+08:00

How does everybody live life so happily? I truly want to say that I'm happy...I'm not sad...I'm just fine, but I can't. I don't know what to feel anymore...should it be sadness, despair, or just plain pain?

Crying...

I know...it's not like me to shed tears, but thinking of how things are, right now, just...makes me wish it all would end.

What's it like to be in love? I see happy couples everywhere I look and they just remind me of how we were when we were still together. I really thought that we were in love...I really love her...maybe she feels the same way, maybe.

Everytime I see her, I'm happy, I'm carefree, I'm me...it's unexplainable, how I feel about her...when I'm with her, I want to make her happy, to see her smile everyday, to take care of her, to love her in every way, to be by her side during her darkest times, chase away her fears, wipe away her tears...and so much more.

But, alas, God seems to have other plans in mind for us. She'll be leaving for her foundation study soon and I'll stay behind to continue on to A-levels. Life is so uncertain...even as I write this, I don't know if I'll ever pass my secondary education...what more hope to enroll for A-levels...let's say that I do get in and I do complete my A-levels...what do I do after that? Perhaps I'll continue on to IMU which grants me three years education locally and, if I make the grade, two years overseas. Which means that I would spend approximately seven to eight years away from her...then with residency/internship/housemanship, I'll add an extra five to six years on my sentence...God, please tell me how I should go through those thirteen odd years without her by my side?

Lord, why do this to me?

Disappointment...

2010-10-17T20:22:00.002+08:00

Dark clouds loom ahead,
As my life grows ever darker.
Many a rose lay dead,
As my will grow weaker.

It rained today,
As I cried away.
For a death that never may,
Fill mine beating heart with dismay.

When young, we would chase each other,
Around and around till we tire.
Now we're running races,
whose consequences are dire.

Lethargy, weariness...

Why is it that every point of my life is a disappointment to my parents? Let's face it ladies and gents, my parents have given up on me...I am, as they so gracefully put it, "A BLOODY MISTAKE". Seriously, I'm tired of trying to make them proud; I've been trying my best for the past ten years of my life...and not once did I ever see them smile at anything I've done. Be it receiving an award for winning something or even the time when I was appointed a head prefect nor when I was appointed head librarian...I don't know what to do anymore...I...give...up

Lord, if you do exist, tell me what I should do...you say that humans should always "honour thy parents"...so please, Lord, tell me, show me a sign of what I need to do to make them happy with me...

Tears are actually streaming down my eyes as I type this entry...perhaps I would make a good actor...but what good would that do? My parents will still think I'm a bloody waste of space and an effing mistake to boot!

Perhaps there is one way to end it after all...

Perhaps there is only one way to make them happy after all...

Untitled...

2010-08-12T18:24:00.005+08:00

What can I say that hasn't been said before?
What can I do that hasn't yet been done?
What can I write that nobody will find a bore?
How can I prove that my love for you shines like the sun?

Perhaps I've never shown you enough care.
Perhaps I've never shown you enough appreciation.
Perhaps I was nowhere when you needed me there.
Please, give me a chance to redeem myself from this perdition.

Because of three words,
Because I believe you feel it too,
Because of how we braved swords,
I love you.

I know you're scared,
I know you're not ready to trust again,
I know you're tired,
But, one thing I know, my love for you will never wane.

So, take your time.
And as much of it as you need.
But when you're ready, give me a sign.
So that we can ride into endless sunsets on a white steed.

Beginnings...

2010-08-08T12:37:00.004+08:00

I want you to know,
Lessons I've learned aplenty in this life.
Of how I've been blind and made you suffer so.
Verily, I've had your heart over a knife,
Even when you were hurting, never did you show.
Yesterday, I thought of words to say.
Of how to describe you in a beautiful way,
Unlike methods of Shakespeare or Thomas Gray.
...but, yet, I fear you won't accept me today.
Don't give up on us, please.
Every time I think of losing you, my heart hurts,
And I know I can't bear to lose you like this.
Rest assured, my dear for "I love you" aren't just only words.

A Story...

2010-08-07T18:55:00.002+08:00

What am I, if not only human?
Am I not allowed to have flaws?
Or are you perfect beyond reason,
That your words have become my laws?

I help others, not expecting anything.
Yet I am insulted and cast aside,
By the very people I am helping.
But, I just take it in my stride.

What can I do to please you, father?
To you, I'm just a damn failure, aren't I?
I am sorry, I've let you down, mother.
For while I lived, all you could do was sigh.

Could you fulfill my last wish, dear sir?
If you should see my true love,
Please tell her.
That I'll watch and wait for her in the sky above.

Lights go out and I am on my way,
To face judgment and to pay.
For all my past sins and so, in hell shall I stay.
I'm sorry, I can't stay any longer...I died today.
------------------------------------------------

Lucifer has seen me already.
Good news dear, I can be with you now.
For he damned me to roam for eternity.
So, I'll spend my days with you just like we knew how.

I sit and wait for her outside her home today.
People looked in my direction, but stared right through.
Then she came and saw me, not knowing what to say.
She was scared and that filled my heart with rue.

We tried to hug each other, but she passed through me.
Upon this, her eyes widen with both our fears.
It was like she couldn't touch me, but only see.
This made both our eyes well up with tears.

So, I'll let you go,
Let you have your happiness.
For it saddens me to see you suffer so.
I'll just keep wandering in loneliness.
------------------------------------------------

Time has passed and has relieved her of the past pain.
Now, she has a family of her own.
A husband who loves her with love that will never wane.
I am there, keeping her company, so that she's never alone.

Though age has claimed part of her beauty,
She looks just as radiant as the day we met.
And now, as she lays on a hospital bed, smiling sweetly.
She tries to comfort her children but her eyes were, oh so sad.
------------------------------------------------

Now I see the light,
It welcomes me with its alluring charms.
But I am still bounded by this weight,
By chains that Lucifer has tied around my arms.

So I'll bid you farewell, my dear.
Know that I did as I promised.
I took care of you, and warded off your fears.
But now, you've gone and you'll be missed.

I now roam the earth in solitude and in despair.
Hoping to spend another lifetime with someone like you.
But never will I find anyone as fair.
Nor will I find love that's true...

Lethargy...

2010-08-05T18:17:00.004+08:00

How many wishes are we allowed in this life?

If we could wish for time and wisdom,

Would there be wars and strife?

Or would we begin to embrace peace and freedom?

If men could see past their own pride,

Would we suffer this plight?

When we choose to fight for a side,

Would we still feel the same delight?

Someone once asked me, if love exists.

Guess what I told him, if you can.

Because towards love, we can't resist.

So, I told him if he found it, he should learn to bend.

To give and so you should receive.

For love works in mysterious ways.

So, have a clear heart and never deceive.

Then, and only then will you face happy days.

These days, I'm just wandering down an endless road.

One that has no end in sight nor resting place.

And every passing day, adds to my burdening load.

But I don't mind the weight, if just to be charmed by your grace.

Alas, those days are now my past.

How I wish to relive it over again.

And perhaps, just perhaps, make them last.

But all I can do is cry, in solitude, in pain...in this rain.

I long to say that I'm tired and cease to live.

But that would be admitting I'm a coward.

So I suffer, just as I did the day you chose to leave.

And try, in vain, to move forward.

In reality, we live in a cold, bleak world.

Its people would kill just to get ahead.

Also, in love and war, all is fair to get that ideal girl.

So, I'll just wait for the day that I lay dead.

Because of others' disdain,

I'm forced to accept the pain,

And keep quiet or be slain.

So, I'll just continue walking in the rain.

Time...

2010-07-30T15:25:00.005+08:00

Dim flame flickers around a cozy room.

Casting shadows reminiscent of memories past.

Reminding me of how you chased away the gloom.

But never once did I make those fleeting moments last.

Watching those little shapes bring with them remorse.

Tears drip as I struggle to correct them...in vain.

Yet I try because I know how much pain I've caused.

I wish to take it all back and make you happy again.

You had to suffer because I was blinded by pettiness,

And for so long too.

You took it in your stride, even at the cost of your happiness.

You were there for me, in my despair and for that, I thank you.

I suppress the urge to turn back the hands of time.

To bring back our lost time together,

And to live my life again, just so you'd be mine.

Because in my dreams, it's only you and me, wherever.

What else can I do,

But write this down with hands shaken by rue.

Knowing that someone as special as you,

Deserves more than this; deserves someone true.

Know that it is you whom I love,

But didn't dare say it before.

Because you're special.

You're kind, patient and so much more.

Now the candle's dying and time's fading.

As the clock's hands trace my final hour,

I regret to leave you my dear.

But alas, God does not approve of our amour.

It is true, I owe you a debt of kind.

Dear friend of mine,

In death shall our love bind.

And I'll be your eternal valentine.

Seasons...

2010-07-20T18:21:00.007+08:00

Flowers abound in March.
People around us would stare.
When we whispered sweet nothings and such.
But we pretended they weren't there.

Little birds sang their songs in June.
While we sat in that little park.
Listening to their sweet little tune.
While we kissed in the dark.

September browned its trees.
As we walked hand in hand,
Watching the leafs tickle about our knees.
And observed as our road bend.

Snow covered December,
Painted the ground white.
Black was the last dying ember.
Alas, covered by snow and out of sight.

Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall;
You gave me the reasons.
To stand tall, through it all.
And showed me the love to last through all seasons.

Death...

2010-07-15T16:10:00.007+08:00

He died today.

I entered a room,
And no one would say.
What happened to whom,
And in what way.

Grief stricken people,
Greeted my sight.
Half eaten staple,
Left cold, by the side.

It seemed everyone was present.
From Emily to Dave,
To Lawrence and even Nickson.
The air was cold, as cold as grave.

Two brothers stood in a corner.
Whispered to each other in hushed tones.
About the last dinner,
And the end of poor Tom Jones.

An opened coffin laid ahead.
There she stood...and cried.
As the person she loved laid dead.
And a part of her died.

Rounding the coffin, I looked across.
She was still crying.
I felt her loss,
The loss of dying.

Cry not my lady,
For I shall always be,
With you for eternity,
Wishing that you'll stay happy.

I took one last sweeping glance at the room.
Sweeping over me,
Was a sudden surge of gloom,
For I shall be leaving thee.

Dust to dust and ashes to ashes.
Nobody knows what to say,
When life ends in minute flashes.
I died today...

Wishes...

2010-07-09T20:05:00.003+08:00

Snow pats me on the back.
As I made my way,
Along the worn track,
I thought of words to say.

When I got there,
I looked for you,
But you were nowhere,
On that snowy avenue.

It was cold and I didn't feel too well.
Passing an old bistro, I looked in.
You seemed happy in there, I could tell.
Because I saw that you were laughing with him.

So I turned to walk away.
The snow turned into rain.
I'll be waiting for the day,
The end of this pain.

To him I shall say,
Take good care of her,
Cherish her in every way,
Never remind her of how we were.

For she loves you,
I know.
Whenever she's around you,
Her eyes start to glow.

I'll wish for her,
Happiness.
For his love to never veer,
And eternal bliss.

So, I bid you farewell,
Dear friend of mine.
In our memories I shall,
Remember you, my valentine.

Rain pats me on the back.
As I made my way,
Along the worn track,
I thought of her today.

Scents...

2010-06-15T17:01:00.005+08:00

She sat in front of me on the bus this morning. Lingered about her was a scent. It was one that I was all too familiar with, but also a total stranger to.

Science has proven through research that certain scents have the power to bring back memories from days of yore, memories we'd least expect to remember and memories...I buried a long time ago.

This girl, I did not know her and she likewise, but there was something about the perfume she wore and...it reminded me of...her.

Tell me, is this your way of telling me that you are still here? Is this your way of letting me know that you've never given up on me and that you are watching over me?

Question upon question flooded my mind; questions to which no answers came.

Tell me, please, if you are indeed still around here somewhere...what am I to do? I can't just move on and let go of our past. I feel so...hopeless...so useless.

Sometimes, when I think back to all the happy moments we shared, it almost always seem to assuage my grief.

But I guess, in the end, that was God's way of making me pay for my ways. For not cherishing you enough.

And when I think of you now, I can't help but wonder if you still remember me or if I can still call you mine...I guess we'll never know

Since thoughts of thee doth banish grief,
when from thee I am gone;
will not thy presence yield relief,
to this sad Heart of mine:
Why doth thy presence me defeat,
with excellence divine?
Especially when I reflect
on auld long syne.

Be Well...

2010-06-05T00:00:00.004+08:00

Rain stains, snowy windowpanes.
Rats roaming about alleys and drains.
Footsteps drifting down a lane.
Muffled by heavy rain.

As I sit and stare.
Looking blankly at emptiness.
Surrounding me is an air.
An air of loneliness.

Reminiscing of fond memories.
Of how we used to be.
Of how we had no worries.
But now, it's just me.

Sitting alone, in darkness.
In despair.
The night feels endless.
Breathing in the cold air.

Anguished and distant.
Ireful and cavalier.
How appearances change in an instant.
A cuirassier may just appear scragglier.

The clock is ticking.
Counting my final hour.
I shall be leaving.
And remembering our past amour.

Where we go from here.
Nobody can tell.
But I shall wish for you, my dear.
Be well...

Joshua Radin - Paperweight...

2010-04-26T21:15:00.000+08:00

Been up all night staring at you
wondering what's on your mind
I've been this way with so many before
but this feels like the first time
you want the sunrise to go back to bed
I want to make you laugh
mess up my bed with me
kick off the covers I'm waiting
every word you say I think
I should write down
don't want to forget come daylight
happy to lay here
just happy to be here
I'm happy to know you
play me a song
your newest one
please leave your taste on my tongue
paperweight on my back
cover me like a blanket
mess up my bed with me
kick off the covers I'm waiting
every word you say I think
I should write down
don't want to forget come daylight
and no need to worry
that's wastin time
and no need to wonder
what's been on my mind
it's you
it's you
it's you
every word you say I think
I should write down
don't want to forget come daylight
and I give up
I let you win
you win cause I'm not counting
you made it back
to sleep again
wonder what you're dreaming...

Human Nature Is Predictable...

2010-04-11T19:14:00.003+08:00

Let's play a little game. I hope you don't find me irritating for I will be giving my own comments throughout this and, if at any time you find it annoying and truly infuriating, you are free to leave. The rules are simple - give your honest answer to the two questions presented in this little 'quiz' and at the end of it, you shall find out how much of a human you truly are.

Now then, have you gotten everything down? If you do, GOOD! Let us begin. Don't worry, all you have to answer are either A or B.

1. If you were in a sinking ship which contains 399 live jackets and 401 people on board, would you - A) be a part of the 399 people with some hope of survival; or B) be one of the other 2 that goes down with the ship?

Go ahead, I know you want to answer B and paint a better picture for yourself, but when the time actually comes, you'll be shoving your way through the throngs of people just to get your hands on one of those jackets...which was what you were probably thinking when you saw the choices presented in this question. Well, bad news - you probably didn't notice the spelling error in "live jackets"; please note that they are not the same as life jackets and the 398 other people would most likely drown along with you because they were just as selfish.

Now we move on to question 2

2. If you were held at gun point and presented with two choices of - A) A remote is handed to you and you are asked to detonate a bomb that is planted in one of the busiest streets in New York; or B) You get shot and possibly die of said gun shot, but on the other hand, no bomb blows up and nobody else dies. Which will you choose?

Interesting isn't it? On one part of the equation you live while hundreds and maybe thousands lose their lives and loved ones; on the other part, you die and will never get to say how much you love your parents, siblings, et cetera. This time there are no spelling errors, no ships and no cool jackets that rockers wear during their live performances; just you, a remote to some deadly bomb and a chance to pay a visit to Lucifer.

Of course, I know you'd pick B...seeing how noble you must be, but will you still have the guts to pick the same choice when you're really staring down the barrel of a loaded Benelli Legacy?

Now, with all that's said and done, do you still want to continue?

If you want to know how much of a human you truly are I suggest you look at your friends and ask yourself - will you have the courage to die for them...for any one of them - like Jesus did for those he knew and all others whom he didn't, but loved anyway. Or will you hurl snide remarks about others behind their backs, insult them in their face, kick them when they're down, ostracise and humiliate them publicly and, the best of all, betray everyone you know just to get some worthless reward just like what Judas did unto Jesus?

A Puro Dolor...

2010-03-29T21:18:00.003+08:00

Perdona si te estoy llamando en este momento
Pero me hacia falta escuchar de nuevo
Aunque sea un instante tu respiración

Disculpa se que estoy violando
Nuestro juramento
Sé que estás con alguien, que no es el momento
Pero hay algo urgente que decirte hoy

Estoy muriendo, muriendo por verte
Agonizando muy lento y muy fuerte

Vida, devuélveme mis fantasías
Mis ganas de vivir la vida
Devuélveme el aire...
Cariño mío, sin ti yo me siento vacío

Las tardes son un laberinto
Y las noches me saben
A puro dolor...

Quisiera decirte que hoy estoy de maravilla
Que no me ha afectado lo de tu partida
Pero con un dedo no se tapa el sol

Estoy muriendo, muriendo por verte
Agonizando muy lento y muy fuerte

Vida, devuélveme mis fantasías
Mis ganas de vivir la vida
Devuélveme el aire

Cariño mío, sin ti yo me siento vacío
Las tardes son un laberinto
Y las noches me saben
A puro dolor

Vida, devuélveme mis fantasías
Mis ganas de vivir la vida
Devuélveme el aire

Cariño mío, sin ti yo me siento vacío
Las tardes son un laberinto
Y las noches me saben
A puro dolor

Perdona si te estoy llamando en este momento, pero me hacia falta escuchar de nuevo, aunque sea un instante tu respiracion

Rain...

2010-03-15T15:05:00.003+08:00

Drops of water falling freely from the endless firmament above. Each flash of lighting brought back memories of past long forgotten; every crashing thunder roared its vehement disapproval of what I've become...what I currently am.

So very fast indeed...time has passed almost in a blur. I can still recall those gay times spent in the curtilage when the welkin, clear and azure, rang with our squeals of joy; our carefree happiness...where have they gone?

A smile manages its way onto an impassive face; rain being comfort and shelter all at once...rather ironic isn't it? Armies scattered asunder by storms when all claim to brave it; mighty empires brought to their knees by the forces of nature herself and sports events were rained out, but don't clouds have silver linings? It is that lining that provides sanctuary even in the darkest of times.

The rain is over now and I'm jolted from quiescence by Helios willing the sol over darkened skies, illuminating paths and walkways...but how much brighter can it shine in a world this bleak?

Freedom...

2010-03-04T18:24:00.002+08:00

Dust settles about a mist shrouded room as the clock strikes, chiming the glorious tunes of two in the afternoon. Everyone's in motion, gathering their belongings and rushing off for their respective appointments. Scrapes of rubber soles upon concrete floor reminiscent of a pack of birds taking flight.

Is it jubilation; is it fear or is it numbness that fills all our hearts? Causing us to be aloof and indifferent to how others feel.

Now, after all that's said and done,
are we really free? Can we truly say that it's all in the past?
It was a good run,
but what do we leave behind if not ash and dust?

...

2010-02-17T23:30:00.000+08:00

Every day I try to see
the closeness that your promised me,
fades away,
it fades away.

Every night I try to dream
of what you wanted me to be,
in your life,
in your life.

Every dawn the light that wakes you up
will remind you of my touch.
that you miss so much.

What if i died tomorrow?
would you miss me here?
What if i cried tomorrow?
Would you shed your tears?

Every time you think about
the things you said
remind yourself im gone. ( im gone)

I hope you take this as a lesson learned.
Tomorrow isn't promised (nothing's promised.)

Every hour, every day gone by,
you'll cry for me,
you'll cry for me.

What if I died tomorrow?
would you miss me here?
What if I cried tomorrow?
Would you shead your tears?

A story's just been told that has happened yet.
Just a tragic foreshadowing
of what could happen to you.

Think before you speak,
it could be the last time ( the last time)
you ever speak to him.

What if I died tomorrow?
would you miss me here?
What if I cried tomorrow?
Would you shead your tears?

A story's just been told that has happened yet.
Just a tragic foreshadowing
of what could happen...

Don Henley & Bruce Hornsby - End of The Innocence...

2010-02-08T16:02:00.002+08:00

Remember when the days were long
And rolled beneath a deep blue sky
Didn't have a care in the world
With mommy and daddy standing by
When happily ever after fails
And we've been poisoned by these fairy tales
The lawyers dwell on small details
Since daddy had to fly
But I know a place where we can go
Thats still untouched by man
Well sit and watch the clouds roll by
And the tall grass wave in the wind
You can lay your head back on the ground
And let your hair fall all around me
Offer up your best defense
But this is the end
This is the end of the innocence
O beautiful, for spacious skies
But now those skies are threatening
They're beating plowshares into swords
For this tired old man that we elected king
Armchair warriors often fail
And we've been poisoned by these fairy tales
The lawyers clean up all details
Since daddy had to lie
But I know a place where we can go
And was away this sin
Well sit and watch the clouds roll by
And the tall grass wave in the wind
Just lay your head back on the ground
And let your hair spill all around me
Offer up your best defense
But this is the end
This is the end of the innocence
Who knows how long this will last
Now we've come so far, so fast
But, somewhere back there in the dust
That same small town in each of us
I need to remember this
So baby give me just one kiss
And let me take a long last look
Before we say good bye
Just lay your head back on the ground
And let your hair fall all around me
Offer up your best defense
But this is the end
This is the end of the innocence

Why...

2010-01-26T21:06:00.004+08:00

It's 9.40 P.M. I awoke with a start. Looking to the window above my bed, I saw an eagle perched upon a tree trunk...probably wouldn't have stayed long anyway.

Just like how seasons change, people change, friends come and go...mostly go. For a moment, I wished to be like the eagle; not just wished, yearned...desired to be the eagle. To be able to spread my wings and soar with my head above the clouds; not a care in the world.

But alas, sadly I can't. With a sigh, I got up...well, that didn't sound as dramatic as I'd hope for. "What a mess!" I thought, looking around my room in disbelieve. It's amazing how chaos can reign over in just a matter of seconds. Flashes of that gay day passed around me.

If I could turn back time, I would...I will. She has no idea how much pain and misery it's caused me all this while.

God. If you do exist, why? Why make me suffer? Why condemn me to hell? I never asked for things to turn out the way it did. Perhaps you think that things are better this way...perhaps...perhaps.

Jolted from my anguished dreams, I was kneeling...holding the very one thing that reminded me that she actually existed...but never appreciated. Spots soon appeared on the photograph.

Compunction flooded me and numbed all senses...drowning me

Splatters of Life...

2010-01-22T18:57:00.005+08:00

These days, I view my life as an unfurling diary...or a memoir. It is true the saying that "you can never have the best of both worlds". Now, I'm starting to see the logic of it all. Basically, in our lives, we are governed by two things either - 'Avarice' or 'Human Nature'.

What is Avarice? Is it the same as megalomania? An upstart executive working in some big time firm; a parvenu...arriviste, if you may. How will the executive be treated? Will he be given due respect, recognition, support like the manager who handles other workers' salaries? No! The executive will be shunned aside, ostracised, alienated like the nouveau-riche he is perceived to be. So, it is only logical that humans will, with high regard, obsequiously serve and backstab others just to get into their employer's good graces. Why? Simple - Avarice.

However, when you take a closer look at 'Avarice', you'll find that it is also a part of 'Human Nature'. What is human nature? It is the reason behind why we even bother to betray each other, go out of our way to humiliate others, wish ill tidings towards our competitors and, perhaps, even going as far as to eliminate the competition. Can you actually disprove what I've just written? Can you say that everyone in this world is kind? Are you able to confidently say to my face that this world's inhabitants have never experienced war, poverty, hunger, dictatorship and burnt roti prata?

...

2010-01-07T19:54:00.003+08:00

"This old man and me, were at the bar and we
Were having us some beers and swapping I don't cares"

"As for being patient, with fate and all, it's getting old.
And my mind is slowly changing
I'm calling all my oldest friends,
Saying 'sorry for this mess we're in,'
And I'm waiting, waiting
For the Sun to come and melt this snow,
wash away the pain, and give me back control, control."

"Open your eyes
And look outside
Find the reasons why
You've been rejected
Now you can't find
What you've left behind"

"I found her diary underneath a tree
And started reading about me
The words began to stick and tears to flow
Her meaning now was clear to see
The love she'd waited for was someone else not me"

"There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I'll tell you now, they don't mean a thing"

"Do you believe in life after love?"

"Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven"

"Talk about God and His mercy
Or if He really does exist
Why did He desert me in my hour of need
I truly am indeed Alone again, naturally"

New Year...

2009-12-31T14:16:00.004+08:00

Sunny rays and windy breezes sweep across my face. Feeling all worries and apprehension fade away as I breathe in the cool salty air. Looking at my watch on the beach table to my right; time ticked by steadily - not fast enough to make you regret not enjoying every moment, but not slow enough to make you impatient.

In the distance, the sound of drums and merry singing seemed to beat a path to an unknown destination. Not too long ago, we were wishing each other a "Merry Christmas". Now, we'll be wishing each other a "Happy New Year" instead.

When I think about it, we will never be done wishing others in our lifetime. We have to wish teachers when we see them, may it be so simple as a "good morning, sir/ma'am". We will have to wish others at their weddings the wishing of "congratulations" or something else along those lines. And we too have to wish others at their funerals; sometimes in the form of "he/she will always be in our hearts", "he/she will not be forgotten" or even "you have our most sincere condolences".

That aside, I was brought back from my trance by the sounds of fireworks and my cellphone ringing. It was a message I'd received from...well, let's not talk about that.

The message wrote:

Christmas...

2009-12-20T18:04:00.007+08:00

Christmas...doesn't really mean much to me anymore. After all, we're just celebrating the birth of a man whom we all collectively put on the cross anyway.

There were times when I laughed, times when I'd feel happy, times when I felt blessed, but that was a very long time ago. I don't think I'd be capable of those magical, mortal feelings anymore.

___________________________________________________________________

The rise and, ultimately, the fall of empires are about the same all over. One kingdom feeling that it could be a great power in the world sets out for world dominance and at the pinnacle of their success, they become decadent and...well, one thing leads to another and soon, everyone's wondering "what in the world are these strange symbols I'm looking at?".

The date, 25^th of December, should be a joyous day for Christians the world over. Reason? Simple. How often is it that a savior is born?

He was sent by God himself...or as God himself anyway; to help mankind. But alas, we opposed him, we hurled insults at him, we did unspeakable, detestable, inhumane things to him...to belittle and insult him.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is what everyone considers humanity. Don't we all claim to be compassionate, kind, generous and all-loving? So, by the same token, we are all disrespecting, insulting and inhumane towards our government, decadent Sultans and useless Yang di-Pertuan Agong.

Can you see the pettiness of humans? We hurl snide asides, whip, torture, brutally assault and nail to a wooden cross the man who did nothing but teach others his beliefs and help men with the kindness and humanity that God had granted him. On the other hand, we bow our heads in respect, pay our monthly wages and give our unwavering loyalty to the people who claim to be our "Messiah" while condemning our only chance of salvation.

___________________________________________________________________

So, what does Christmas mean anymore? Well, it's just a day...just like any other day, in fact. It has no special meaning nor significance anymore.

Christmas, if you want to give it a meaning, is a time for remembrance.

Remembrance of a person who gave us all his life just because the idiots who were in charge of the Jews didn't have enough sense to see anything past corruption, tyranny and dictatorship.

But, I'd rather just remember how selfless and kind Christ was...

The Long & Winding Road...

2009-12-15T18:05:00.002+08:00

As we traverse through life, we will surely come across some sort of obstacle, in one form or another. It is then that we wish we could have a place or sanctuary to retreat to and pay no heed to our worries and drown our sorrows.

A lone stranger walks down a narrow street in the heart of London. High above, like escorts, falcons hover. It has been rumoured that he came from some dark, distant, war-torn place. Only two things are fairly certain about this stranger. One, he is no stranger to battle and two, he has of a heart of stone.

Sidewalks echo footsteps of, what was once, uniformed marching of the 1st Infantry Division. Years of service to country and in the end all he received was a "Thank You, Sir!", his severance pay and a pat on the back from some paper pusher wearing a fake smile.

All his life he has seen violence, bloodshed and grief...it begs the question - which is more scarred? His body or his mind? Once in a while, his mind wanders off to that gay time in 1917 when The Big One was first formed and they were sent in to help the allied powers. His first sight was that of headless bodies and dismembered corpses...the perfect welcome scene isn't it?Nightmares soon haunted our soldier. Many a night he would awake in his bunk horrified by the images of those who he could not save.

Down the street, our stranger enters a bar to drown his troubles. Not a day goes by that he doesn't wish to turn back time and make things right. Falcons outside take perch on roof tops and street lamps.

As the stranger downs his last glass, he makes for the entrance. Freyja marks him as he exits the bar. She does not forget those who escaped her.

The stranger was never to be seen after that day. Many fabricated their own myths and legends about him. Some say that you can still hear the sound of boots marching down as the sun sets.

But, I would much rather believe our stranger has gone to a sanctuary of his own...one that has neither limit nor bounds.

I do not have the luxury of a perfect life, nor do I have the desire to see it through anymore...

Despair...

2009-12-10T20:23:00.002+08:00

Ever felt like you were drowned in sorrow and helplessness so deep that you couldn't see or breathe or feel anymore? It's like your whole body just went numb, your mind freezes over and you just can't think properly anymore.

It all began with a flight...and so ended with a flight.

-----Departure-----

Staring out of the glass panels of Senai International Airport, a sense of apprehension clouded me...suffocating me. In a little less than an hour, I'll be boarding a plane to the city of cats. I stood up and decided to walk around for a bit.

Time seemed to pass just like fog over the horizon. Then came the time to journey to a new island...one that I've seen before, but like all memories, they fade with time.

-----Arrival-----

The first few days were pleasant. Everyone held a jubilant air about them. It was all too easy to get intoxicated in the euphoria and exultation to come. Half the time, it was either too noisy or just too quiet. Then, when the time came, everyone got into the rhythm and set the mood just right.

Then again, how often is it that you get to see relatives that you'd normally meet up with once in half a decade? Being there just made it all seem like a long lost memory...being played over again after having been kept for aeons in the back of my mind.

-----Mid-trip-----

Like flowers bloom from a little bud into a graceful, beautiful flower...the city changed significantly since I was last there.

Although some people never did change, those who did, really caught my attention; with their fluency in language, grace, elegance and charm.

-----Last day-----

This day was really fun...a few reasons actually. One, there were lessons to be learned and two, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

The lessons were learned during classes with a mango tree...a couple of badminton racquets and squash racquets too.

-----Airport-----

There we all were, bidding each other farewell and exchanging well wishes and hopes for the future.

Then after all the good byes had been said, it then turned to solitary waiting for flight number AK 5847.

Loneliness sets in and sadness eats away at whatever feelings there are left.

-----Home-----

Now I'm home...JB. But, I don't really feel like I've returned. I am but a prisoner here waiting for the day I'm set free...

Care To Prove Me Wrong?

2009-11-28T22:46:00.003+08:00

What makes life the rubbish that it is?

Can it be that there is indeed some good in life after all?

Why then do we treat each other like this?

And why do we claim to care when we let others fall?

----------------------------------------------------------

We bask in the glory of others' demise.

We revel in the mysteries of the human mind.

We will wish bad of others, and others likewise.

For there is no such thing as being gentle and kind.

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Did you honestly think that fairness really exists?

Were you hoping for justice to prevail?

Bad news kid. The world you live in is filled with corruption and deceits.

And every crooked politician's got you bowing in vail.

Do You Think It's You...

2009-11-22T22:57:00.005+08:00

Humanity is extremely passe. Everyone's new year's resolution SHOULD be - Hate more, Love less, Kill more, Care less, Blame others for everything that goes wrong, Claim credits for whatever everyone ELSE does RIGHT, Blatantly discredit Jeremy for everything he says, Vehemently disagree with everything Jeremy says that's got a point and lets not forget to respect TEACHERS...even if they insult you, call you a bastard, idiot, damned fool, etc.

I have to agree with a certain ex-class monitor who said "Not every teacher is a good teacher. There really are some inconsiderate teachers out there". Still, life goes on and we find ourselves having to respect these people who SHOULD be setting an example for us. Yet, I find that these people; teachers, if you may; are setting for us an example by insulting students, hurling snide remarks at students, defaming students, etc.

With that said, HOW can students still RESPECT teachers? Bear in mind people, respect isn't meant to be GIVEN...nor is it just a normal seven letter word either. To be respected is to be held in high regard or esteem by others. So, HOW can we look up to these foul mouthed beasts, monsters?

It is in my opinion that respect should be earned and not demanded. He can demand respect from every student in Sri Tebrau like the over-sized, insolent, incompetent, dumb, expandable, stupid, bloody, afternoon session, damned fool of a retarded Santa Claus replica that HE is. However, I for one, will never respect the likes of HIM. For he has not and he will never earn it.

Other teachers like Madam Gan Ser Kee, Sri Tebrau's soft-spoken and caring ex-counselor, have earned my respect for being tactful. Bobby, the prefect master, is caring and relaxed. Madam Wendy, Senior Assistant of Co-Curriculum, is energetic, laid-back, calm and fun. Ms Sheela, form teacher of 4 Science 1 (2009), is stern, loving, caring and altruistic. All OTHER teachers, in my opinion, are respectable. But, the MOMENT that any ONE of them DEMANDS respect, that is the moment they lose mine.

All the above said teachers have GAINED my respect because they never asked for it, they have enough humanity in them to HELP others yet hardly asking anything in return. It is this attitude of theirs that compels me to contribute as much as I can to repay them for the kindness, care, concern and time that they have given me all this while.

But, there is one teacher in particular who has neither rank nor file, yet he acts like he owns the whole school. Even as I type these words of damnation in MY blog, that teacher(if he were to read) would think that I'm referring to HIM. Please note, I did not say who this megalomaniac is...and I'm not as stupid as he is to divulge his identity here.

My point being, CERTAIN teachers SHOULD learn their place and the term "respect" is a point of view that is meant to be earned through acts of kindness and most soitenly not to be demanded like THAT bungling, bumbling, enlarged, obnoxious, math-failing, weighing scale illiterate, student-brawling, idiot.

Truths...

2009-11-17T22:29:00.003+08:00

"A kiss is a promise, easily broken.
A hug is a lie, always unspoken.
A touch is fragile, so quickly taken.
A smile is elusive, so soon forsaken.

A friend is a person who betrays you slowly.
A lover is a person who treats you as lowly.
An equal is a person who doesn’t exist.
A mentor is someone better than this.

A life is brittle, unfairly crushed.
A funeral is a rite, so long untouched.
A death is a milestone, so often passed.
A life is something that can never last.

So take the promises even if they break.
Hold onto illusions despite that they’re fake.
Remember betrayal because before it was trust.
Remember the touches that lead into lust.

Love the lies that made you feel loved.
Hold to your place despite who’s above.
Follow the rites though they end only in pain.
Remember what you’ve lost for you’ve so much to gain.

Always remember the first sincere kiss.
Remember the truths that lead to it.
Remember the person you shared it with.
Remember the love that succeeded it.

Keep the memories that hurt you.
Hold onto the ones that cause pain.
Remember every broken heart.
In the end only memories remain."

Remember...

2009-11-12T20:09:00.003+08:00

Forget not our days of joy.

When you and I, both fought for a toy.

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Today, as I walked down the street.

I saw Timmy dragging his feet.

But when I asked him why.

He answered me with a cry.

"Oh if only men had compassion.

How I will live life full of passion.

But alas, men are unkind and cold.

Yesterday, a father stood in front of the world.

His children amongst the crowd, watching.

Others, merely waiting.

On the stage mingled the rich.

A robed man was dragged from below to preach.

He spoke of the lord.

While the executioner sharpened his sword.

The preacher was then asked to pray for the convict.

That his soul be condemned to hell through an edict.

Murmurs arose in fleets.

Soon, everyone were on their feet.

Order was lost, and peace was never found on that day.

Every protester and rioter were silenced the only way."

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Forget not our days of joy.

Forget not the times we'd cry.

Remember the happy moments.

Remember not the sad pasts.

But look instead toward the future.

And live for the present, in a green pasture.

For after this life is done.

And we're all gone.

Only one thing will remain.

Let that be the friendship we've attained.

Humanity and Human Nature...

2009-11-10T16:18:00.003+08:00

A long long time ago I can still remember how that music used to make me smile. And I knew if I had my chance, that I could make those people dance and, maybe, they'd be happy for a while. But february made me shiver with every paper I'd deliver. Bad news on the doorstep;I couldn't take one more step.

The classic hit American Pie, whose lyrics are somewhat sad. The one thing I like about it is, the song never fails to remind me what a cold world I live in. The song tells the death of singers and assassinations of prominent politicians.

Take for example, Abraham Lincoln. He died by the hands of John Wilkes Booth, and John F.Kennedy whose murder case still has no verdict to date.

Why? Why do people kill each other? Whatever happened to humanity? Or is it just human nature that drives everyone to stab each other's backs?

I can't say much for humanity, but I can attest to the fact that people, generally, would go to any lengths just to get ahead in life. I can't really say I blame them. After all, what are a few people who once considered you their friend when compared to the riches and luxury that you can attain by selling your soul, morals, ethics, beliefs, every bit of humanity in you and spinning falsehood about everyone just to get them into trouble?

Humanity is defined as the quality of being humane. Yet, all I see and ever get in this worthless life are people hurling insults at me, condemning me to hell every single minute of the day, trying to kill me, going out of their way to make life hell for me, stabbing me in my back, destroying my reputation, diluting my credibility and STILL, after all that, they EXPECT me to help them.

After all that I've seen, don't blame me, don't hold a grudge against me when I say that everyone's just a filthy hypocrite who praises the lord, but just as well worships the devil. So, God, if you do exist...what's happened to this world you created? Why is it now overrun with swines and incompetent fools who will not stop to look into a mirror?

contemporary photography...

2009-10-25T13:15:00.003+08:00

In the eyes of others...

2009-10-21T21:42:00.003+08:00

Who am I to talk?

Who am I to give orders?

Who am I to tell others how they walk?

Who am I to advise others?

-----------------------------------------------

Who am I but a lowly degenerate.

What am I but obstinate beyond reason.

Who am I, who am I, an enemy to the state.

Who am I but an insolent person.

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Those who I once trusted,

Return my trust broken and parted,

It was always something I stated,

That made them want me departed.

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Best of friends were we,

To those who I once braved hardships with,

I shall not forget ye,

But for ye, "remember JEREMY", only if.

-----------------------------------------------

You all once considered me a friend,

That was before, now I'm just a fiend,

Once it started, everyone follows like a trend,

Before a friend, now leaving me alone to defend.

-----------------------------------------------

Be well those I hold dear,

For I shall not be here,

Rejoice much and have no fear,

For I shall no longer be here.

HAPPY DEEPAVALI...

2009-10-17T01:10:00.001+08:00

Atheism & Christianity...

2009-10-15T18:41:00.002+08:00

It is never a person's religion that comes into doubt...rather the person who casts questionable doubts on their respective religions.

It is said that Islam forbids its followers from consuming alcohol and yet...

It's said that when something happens, in any religion, it is the will of God. How, do we know what God wants? If a preacher stands in front of a congregation and openly speaks of the Father and asks that they donate a sum of money for God's cause. Can it then be said that God only wants money?

In actual fact, the view and faith of one person cannot be said the same for another. What a true Christian holds in mind is the total opposite of everything an atheist believes in.

It is faith that enables someone to believe in something that he/she has never seen, felt, heard, touched and smelled. On the other hand, the only sensible thing is to believe in what one's seen, felt, touched, smelled and heard.

I cannot agree with certain things that science has thought me thus far, but neither can concur with what's been written in some book that everyone touches once in a century; or only in times of trouble...saying that some guy turned water into wine.

If what's said in the bible is true and that God did indeed create everything we see, feel, touch, hear and smell today. Then, it can also be said that God created gravity. Since it was God who created gravity, God also has control over it...just like he has control over everything else.

However, there are people committing suicide by jumping down a building. If God created everything and has control over everything he created, why couldn't he stop these people from even thinking of taking their lives in the first place?

Let's say that he could control everything except what his creations are thinking, he could still control gravity. Why didn't he weaken the pull of the earth on these free-falling people so that they would escape with a broken bone or two instead of ending up in a body bag?

Yet, Christians unanimously say that God is great. They are worshiping something that they've never seen, touched, felt, smelled and heard...and yet they claim to be able to sense him.

Maybe, just maybe, those people who committed suicide were not worth saving...maybe their time was up.

I am not saying that God doesn't exist. On the contrary, I am not an atheist, but rather I am an agnostic. A cynical agnostic who's serving his time on earth, waiting for God's clock to tick the remainder of his time away.

Escape Club - I'll Be There...

2009-10-14T19:28:00.002+08:00

Over Trees
Over Oceans
Over Seas
Across the desert
I'll be there

In a whisper on the wind
On the smile of a new friend
Just think of me
And I'll be there

Don't be afraid, oh my love
I'll be watching you from above
And I'd give all the world tonight,
to be with you
Because I'm on your side,
And I still care
I may have died,
but I've gone nowhere

Just think of me,
And I'll be there

On the edge of a waking dream
Over Rivers
Over Streams
Through Wind and Rain
I'll be there

Across the wide and open sky
Thousands of miles I'd fly
To be with you
I'll be there

Don't be afraid, oh my love
I'll be watching you from above
And I'd give all the world tonight,
to be with you
Cuz I'm on your side,
And I still care
I may have died,
but I've gone nowhere

Just think of me,
And I'll be there
Just think of me,
And I'll be there

In the breath of a wind that sighs
Oh there's no need to cry
Just think of me,
And I'll be there

Don't be afraid, oh my love
I'll be watching you from above
But I'd give all the world tonight,
to be with you
Cuz I'm on your side,
And I still care
I may have died,
but I've gone nowhere

Just think of me,
I'll be there
Just Think of me
I'll be there

Think of me
I'll be there

When All Seems Lost...

2009-10-13T15:55:00.002+08:00

definitions...

2009-10-04T20:45:00.004+08:00

the only A-Z dictionary that every cynic needs in order to understand the world

A - Aggravation = The feeling that one gets when dealing with others.

B - Boredom = A feeling that urges one to kill one's self.

C - Cynicism = The outlook of life that enables cynics to ALWAYS/CONSTANTLY see the worst of others.

D - Death = An ending of a voluminous book(the book of life). Incidentally, the book is almost always filled with "Aggravation", "boredom" and (especially in my book) "Cynicism".

E - Evil = A term that is usually used to define all things bad; menacing.

F - Fear = Used only when facing "Death", but for some students in particular, this word has never found its use.

G - God = The one and only Almighty...or so they call him(or her); if you ask me, it's just some character that several authors thought of and decided to write about...just to kill "Boredom".

H - Honour = The other one thing of mine that all the students in my class try to diminish.

I - Ire = *See "Aggravation"*.

J - Jesus = Yet another character of the several authors trying to kill "Boredom".

K - Kill = The thing that students in my class are constantly trying to do to me.

L - Love = Is to be adored by some and hated by most.

M - Morale = The one possession of mine that everyone is trying their best to diminish.

N - Narcissism = The only exception of "Love" that is adored by ONE and hated by ALL.

O - Opinion = It is the act of annoying others by telling them what you think on a subject.

P - Point = Used together with "Opinion" and the whole world will hate you.

Q - Question = Questions are asked only AFTER the students in my class have killed me...or none at all.

R - Rest = This word comes with(or after) "Death". It is also associated with "Jesus", "God", "Boredom", "Aggravation" and, in my case, "Kill".

S - Silence = Is always wanted(by me), but never granted(by others)

T - Teamwork = This word has a very funny nature. One will always find their team working AGAINST them if NOT WORKING at all. In my case it's always the former.

U - Unanimous = In unison. I.E. - It is a "Unanimous" decision that Jeremy be ousted from all class activities!

V - Vendetta = Everyone wages a personal "Vendetta" against me...even the people I haven't even met yet.

W - War = It is believed in Norse mythology that Valkyries usually bring the slain to the afterlife hall. But, if you ask me, I'd say war is just a show of which kings ruled what and how they went about creating war widows.

X - Xenophobia = The fear of foreigners...and fear the knowledge that they have ulterior motives for being here.

Y - Yabber = It's Australian for "Jabber" and it's also what everyone around me seems to be doing more often than not(they Jabber to keep me from hearing clearly).

Z - Zep Tepi = is a supposed "Golden Age" in Egyptian mythology when the "God(s)" ruled the world and when human kind acquired the initial elements of civilization. In a nutshell, the character of bored authors were once in charge of hacking firewood and teaching babies to fish.

That's all for this edition of the dictionary.

impressions...

2009-10-01T21:25:00.005+08:00

This is what you get when I have too much time on my hands.

differences...

2009-09-23T01:17:00.002+08:00

"What separates us apart"? That was a question someone once asked me. Incidentally, that same person was also the one who said that "I can understand how you're feeling now because I, myself, have been there before".

He was one of my many teachers; teaching me the finer use of the English language. He engaged me in a debate using those very words - "What separates us apart?" and this was how it went:

He: Tell me Jeremy, how different are we? You went to school like I once did. You endure homework like I once did. You have friends like I do. So, how can you say that we are different?

Me: School, yes; you were there like I am now. Homework, yes; like the sort you give me now. Friends...I'm sorry, I hardly recognise the term anymore.

He: How can you say that?

Me: How? Simple, just remember all the bitter memories pertaining to the seven lettered word and the sentence comes out naturally; it's as snake venom coursing through your veins.

He: Perhaps you took their jokes to heart? There is really nothing bitter about friendship.

Me: Perhaps there isn't, perhaps there is. You say "jokes"...I call it 'jibes'. Seriously, how much of a joke would it be if your "friends" kept going out of their way to humiliate you on an almost daily basis?

He: What if you tried treating them a little better?

Me: TREATING THEM BETTER?!?! You're kidding me right? I get to class everyday and the first thing I do is sit at my place and mind my own business...I hardly strike up a conversation with anyone. So, how is that considered treating them BADLY?

He: So, try socialising with them.

Me: Ever heard of "once bitten twice shy"?

He: Yes I have, but maybe they want to test your defences?

Me: Defences? Haha...what do I look like to you? a Panzer? Or a walking fortress?

He: Ok, how do they humiliate you exactly?

Me: Let's see, there was that time during the Editorial Board's election. When a certain class monitor's name was mentioned, EVERYONE raised their hand in assent. When my name was mentioned, however, EVERYONE slammed their hands down on their tables to make their point clear.

He: And what point was that?

Me: That I was...unwanted company.

He: That was only one incident.

Me: Oh, in that case, what would you consider stuffing strips of waste paper into my bag? A WELCOMING RITUAL?!?! And what would you say to not allowing me to play in their team during Physical Ed? What about the whole class keeping quiet when asked about my whereabouts especially when I've already told them? Or the time when I was helping a teacher when I got shouted at, screamed at, insulted and aggravated? If you lived my life, sir, you wouldn't call them "friends"...especially after all they've put me through.

He: Well, people just don't attack without provocation. You must've done something to bring about their ire.

Me: You're a psychologist now? I go to school and keep mostly to myself when, here comes these guys; "friends" you called them, start picking on me. In fact, I wouldn't mind if they left me well alone, but they just have to go about their mornings thinking "how can we make Jeremy's life a living hell today?" and the worst of it is, they make those thoughts a reality.

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That was part of the conversation I had with my teacher. Notice how he's always trying to see the good in people? In fact, the contrast between his and my attitude is so great that only the blind won't see it.

That's the difference between him and me...he prefers to see good in people and be disappointed, whereas, I much prefer to see the worst in people and watch my predictions come true...and that is what differentiates cynics from optimists.

KEPADA SEMUA MUSLIMIN & MUSLIMAT...

2009-09-20T21:13:00.002+08:00

see the worst in everyone and you won't be disappointed...

2009-09-13T01:28:00.005+08:00

Let's say there are three people in a room. Now, let's say that they're named "A", "B" and "C". Take "B" and imagine that person is a student from class 4 Science 1 (or any class of SMK Sri Tebrau that comes to mind), now, name that student any name you want...if you are thinking that student "A" or "B" dies a painful death and wanted to name either of them "Jeremy", think again...for illustrative purposes, I'll retain the student's name as "student".

At this point, "A" holds student at gun point and asks that (s)he uses a rusty dagger to kill "C". Now, you have a choice of either having "C" be Brian(the handsome guy from 4 Science 1) or Jeremy(the majority's hated cynic).

I shouldn't have bothered to give you guys a choice...knowing all of you, you'd have picked "C" to be Jeremy.

Now, I'll tell you how the scenario will play out and how it'll end.

If you picked "C" as Brian(which is absolutely unlikely), this is how it would play out.

"A" aims a gun at student's head.

"Use that dagger and drain him" said "A" to student, indicating Brian.

Reluctantly, student picks up the dagger and does the deed. After the former dies, "A" decides that anyone capable enough of killing someone thus handsome poses a danger to society as well as themselves. So, "A" kills student; wipes his prints of the gun and places it in Brian's hand.

And now, if you picked Jeremy(which I'm very sure most you did).

"A" aims a gun at student's head.

"Use that dagger and drain him" said "A" to student, indicating Jeremy.

The student will, without hesitation, of course do as (s)he was told and happily thrust the dagger right through Jeremy's parietal bone and embed it in his hypothalamus.

"A", upon seeing that the world is rid of one hated cynic, decides that he and student were doing a good deed. So, "A" and student leave satisfied that everyone's wish has indeed been granted and most people need no longer trouble themselves to make life hell for one person in particular.

In all respect, if it was someone you hated to the very core, you wouldn't think twice about ending their lives. But, if it was someone you cared about, you might even give your life just so that person could be safe.

It's always a question...

2009-09-12T20:36:00.003+08:00

"Do good or do nothing at all. We'll die anyway. You sound like you wanna die young, but why?"

Those were the words of an acquaintance of mine in reply to a certain article I wrote some time back. The question in her statement was - why do I seem a little too eager to depart this world?

Now, in reply to her question, allow me this question. What is it in life that is worth living for?

Is life really worth all the effort we spend trying to make a name for ourselves? Is there anything in life that one would die for?

In fact, there are people dying every day of the week. There are those who die from knife wounds, gun shot wounds, vehicular manslaughter, or even, death by corrupt police officers. That list goes on for miles.

In case anyone got lost in my barrage of words, my point was and still is - with all the hell that the world is slowly becoming accustomed to, is it wrong for me to wish for an early escape?

Perhaps that wasn't an accurate answer. Well, what else would you expect from a sadistic, sarcastic, sardonic, cynic like me?

Maybe, you were expecting me to say that I am wishing for death because society shuns me; "friends" ostracise/alienate me; everyone goes out of their way to make life hell for me.

There! I said it. Is THAT good enough an answer to justify my desire for an escape?

morte...

2009-08-31T20:34:00.001+08:00

Is there any way to speed up the process? Look at Ol' Jacko, he left at fifty. Look at Teddy, he passed at 77. Bo Yibo at 98, Hrant Dink at 53, Maurice Papon at 96 and Boris Yeltsin at 76.

Why is it that only the good die young? Or perhaps...perhaps God doesn't need the aggravation. Need proof? Well, there were quite a number of musicians and entertainers who died before the age of 50 - Elvis Presley(42), John Lennon(40), Bruce Lee(32), Karen Carpenter(32), Jim Croce(30), Buddy Holly(22) and Stuart Sutcliffe(21).

Even Vincent Willem van Gogh who cut the lower part of his left ear lobe died at the age of 37.

Do I have to do some good in the world first to be granted death?

what is real anymore...

2009-08-14T18:27:00.004+08:00

Walking down a long, dark, narrow street; the only sound one would hear would be that of boots sloshing in the rain and that of hooves clopping on sidewalks. This was the scene of the early nineteenth century.

It was a time when British still had mark IV tanks roaming about trenches and Germans used Albatros D.III biplanes - World War 1. It was also around this time that there were many accusations being thrown about others claiming that they were witches and vampires

As for the British mark IV and the biplanes...I can attest to that. The alleged sorcery and blood digestion, however, I might have to pass on that one.

That was life back then and civilization back then didn't have the expertise of the denizens that of the fabled island, Atlantis. So, in all respect, what is real and what is fantasy anymore? What is real and what do we think is real? Do we just put our faith in scientists or do we just follow God?

Now that we think about it, is there such a thing as god...or gods...as we all know, Ancient Greeks put their faith in multiple gods. There's the love torn cynic who believes in Aphrodite; the drunk who believes in Dionysus; the general who believes in Athena; the pauper who believes in Hades and there's also the Cullen family whose members believe in Zeus.

What do we believe? Do we go along with the scientists' views claiming that the earth was created based on the big bang theory or do we go along with the faith of the lord telling us that he created the earth we live on and along with it, the greenery that we're all cutting down just so we have something to write on? Do we also go along with the scientists' views claiming that humans evolved from a monkey or do we just accept faith and play along with the old saying that god created man on the sixth day?

As it seems, it's harder to distinguish right from wrong and fact from fiction these days...what with modern technology, CG, special effects and what-nots. But, is it possible to discern the truth anymore?

english project synopsis...

2009-08-11T17:45:00.001+08:00

"Kidnapped tells the story of David Balfour, a young man of the Lowlands, the southern part of Scotland. David's father, Alexander Balfour, has recently died, and his mother died some time before, so he is now an orphan. Since he is now seventeen years old, he has decided it is time to go and seek his fortune. Before he leaves for the city of Edinburgh, he meets with his guardian, Mr. Campbell. Campbell reveals that David has an uncle, Ebenezer Balfour, of the House of Shaws—meaning that David is, to his surprise, from a wealthy family. David decides to go to Cramond, where his uncle lives, and meet his wealthy relatives.

David walks two days to Edinburgh, and soon finds his way to Cramond. As he begins to ask about the House of Shaws, he finds it is an unpopular place. His Uncle Ebenezer seems particularly ill regarded by the community, and is in fact the only occupant of the house. Nevertheless, David continues on to the House of Shaws. Ebenezer gives him a cold welcome, and seems very interested in the death of David's father. Ebenezer treats David badly, almost as if David were a thief, but he wins some of David's respect by giving the lad nearly forty pounds. But when Ebenezer nearly sends David to his death in the tower adjacent to the house, David demands to know why his uncle hates him and, if he does, why he wants him to stay at the House of Shaws.

A cabin boy, Ransome, arrives at the House of Shaws. He has been sent by Captain Hoseason of the Covenant, a ship that deals with some of Ebenezer's financial ventures. Hoseason has requested to see Ebenezer, so the old man decides to go to the port of Queensferry with Ransome and David. David is interested in seeing the ships at the port, so he willingly goes along. At first, Hoseason seems very pleasant. He even warns David that Ebenezer means mischief toward him. Hoseason then asks to speak to David on the boat, and David agrees, being interested in seeing more of the boat. Once he is on, however, the boat swiftly departs, and as he screams at the dock for help, the sailors knock David unconscious.

He awakes in the dark storage deck of the Covenant. As he drifts in and out of sleep, he quickly becomes ill, and soon he is lingering near death. The ship's mate, Riach, demands that the boy be allowed to sleep in the healthier forecastle of the ship with the other sailors. Hoseason reluctantly agrees, and as David recovers he becomes friends with Riach and a few of the other sailors. Then, Ransome is accidentally killed by Mr. Shuan, and David becomes the new cabin boy.

After a few days at this new job, the Covenant strikes and sinks another boat. One man survives, a strange Highland man dressed in the clothing of a French soldier. The stranger tells the captain that he is carrying the rent money for his disenfranchised chieftain. The two men make an agreement that Hoseason will drop the stranger off in Linnhe Loch, but no sooner is the captain gone from the Round-House—the officers' lounge where the visiting stranger is kept—when David overhears the officers plotting to murder the stranger and take his belt. David tells this to the stranger, and agrees to fight by his side. The stranger says his name is Alan Breck Stewart. Alan and David successfully defend the Round-House from the sailors, Alan killing several men and even David taking two himself. Alan, impressed with David's courage, gives David a silver button from his coat. The captain and Alan negotiate, and the captain agrees to drop Alan and David off near Linnhe Loch.

On the way, however, the ship strikes the Torran Rocks and goes down. David escapes and finds himself on an island. The island is separated from a larger main island only by a river, but he can find no way to cross the river. After a few days, a fisherman comes in a boat and reveals to him that the river gets very low at high tide, and David crosses easily.

David then stays at a house, and discovers that Alan himself passed through, having survived the wreck. Alan left instructions that David should follow him to Torosay, and from there go to Alan's homeland of Appin. David heads this way, meeting several disreputable people along the way, including a notorious blind robber; but the young man manages to avoid any great dangers. He meets a pleasant old religious instructor, Henderland, who helps David secure a boat to take him to Appin.

As soon as David arrives in Appin, he comes across a group of four men on horseback. One of the men is Colin Campbell, the King's Regent for that area, whose clan, the Campbells, are hated by Alan and his Stewart clan. As David speaks with Campbell, he is suddenly shot and killed by an unknown assailant. One of the people in Campbell's party accuses David of distracting Campbell so that he could be shot, and just as soldiers are about to apprehend David he is pulled away by Alan, who has been fishing nearby.

Alan and David, now major suspects in the murder, flee to the woods. Alan swears he had nothing to do with the murder, but he must now draw attention away from the real killer. David believes Alan, and they escape to the home of James Stewart, or James of the Glens. James gives them a change of clothes and some little money, but he tells them that he will have to blame them for the murder and put our warrants for their arrest once they are safely gone, so that he will not be blamed for the murder. If James is killed, it will mean great difficulties for the Stewart clan. David and Alan agree to be the scapegoats, and Alan and David are soon fleeing through the wilderness once more.

They hide for a whole day on top of a large rock while English soldiers roam around below, searching for them. They escape and go to a mountain where they rest for several days and send word to James, hoping to get a little more money so that Alan can escape to France. The messenger returns with a note from James' wife; James has been arrested for the murder. She also sends a little more money for David and Alan.

The two continue on their flight, soon reaching the broad, flat region known as the moors. They take some time out to rest, but David oversleeps on his watch, and a troop of English soldiers nearly takes them by surprise. They must run through the wide, flat land on their hands and knees, hiding in small brush and behind rocks. They manage to escape and are ambushed by Highland men who, fortunately, turn out to be men of Cluny Macpherson, another disenfranchised Highland leader. Cluny takes them in his hideout in the mountain of Ben Alder, and while David sleeps for nearly three days, Alan and Cluny play cards. Alan gambles away all their money, including David's. Cluny agrees to give them their money back, plus more, but Cluny is mortified that they thought he would keep the money, David is angry that Alan gambled it away and he has to swallow his pride and ask for it back, and Alan feels guilty for having gambled it all away.

Alan and David continue on their journey toward the Lowlands, but David is now angry and bitter toward Alan. Alan feels remorseful for some time, but when David refuses to warm up at all, Alan thinks that he has personally suffered enough, and soon becomes his usual happy self, taunting David for being a Whig. Alan is a Jacobite, someone who believed the Stuarts, a Highland clan, should be on the throne, whereas Whigs were supporters of the current English monarchy, following the line of William and Mary. David's patience wears thin, and he viciously attacks Alan's honor. Realizing he cannot be forgiven for what he said, David pretends that he is about to die of exhaustion, and Alan becomes very worried and takes David to a house.

Over the course of a month, David recovers. There is some brief trouble when Alan meets Robin Oig, one of the sons of the well-known Highlander Rob Roy Macgregor, who was also a Campbell. But instead of using guns, they duel by playing the bagpipes, and the two men quickly respect one another and a crisis is averted.

David and Alan finally move on and, after some difficulties, reach Queensferry once more. They cross over and David meets with his family's lawyer, Mr. Rankeillor. Rankeillor believes his story, but David's uncle Ebenezer must be dealt with somehow. It turns out that Ebenezer and David's father had had a dispute over a woman, David's mother. They had finally come to an agreement—David's father married his mother, and Ebenezer took the estate and the Balfour fortune, although he was not the elder brother. Rankeillor says the agreement is not legally binding, and that David is the true heir of the estate. But David does not want the House of Shaws, just a pension from its yearly earnings.

To rectify the situation, David plays a trick on Ebenezer. Rankeillor, David, and Alan go to the House of Shaws. Alan walks up to the door alone, and pretends that he is from a bunch of Highlanders who found David alive shortly after the shipwreck on the Torran Rocks. He asks for money to return to the boy, but Ebenezer refuses to pay anything. Alan then says that they'll kill him unless Ebenezer pays to have him kept alive. Ebenezer does not want the boy dead, and as he haggles over how much he will pay he admits that the plan had been for Hoseason to sell the boy into slavery in the Carolinas. At that point, David and Rankeillor reveal themselves, having caught Ebenezer in the confession. Ebenezer and Rankeillor then work out an agreement that David would get two-thirds of the yearly income of the House of Shaws.

David receives a note from Rankeillor that will allow him to collect his money. David then speaks to Alan, and arranges to send him money so that Alan can get passage to France. The two men part, and David wanders into town to claim his fortune."

the above is a synopsis, not of my own doing, but rather that of the kind folks at http://www.sparknotes.com

incoherent rambling...

2009-08-08T16:56:00.005+08:00

Several years ago, someone asked me - "What's life? What's worth fighting for anymore"? These days, I share the exact same sentiments of those before me as my predecessors have many years before and stared down the same exact long and winding route they called 'life'.

What am I really fighting for anymore? Was it the same thing I fought for when I started this arduous and ~~lonesome~~ solitary journey? Now, I find myself thinking of why I even started out on this journey anyway...I just feel like resigning to my fate and let Grim take me with him.

Just the other day, I was torn between being who I really am - a normal student of an extraordinary school; carrying out the duties of a prefect and honouring the request of a teacher...the third of which being my priority and also the one that got me scolded, reprimanded, shouted at and screamed at. Permit me now the honour of putting forth a question - Is all this even minutely worth fighting for?

All that I've strived for, all that I believed in...all denounced by one, apparently, misjudged decision - a flaw in judgement, if you may.

Was I supposed to say then, "NO! I WON'T HELP YOU sir/madam, because I am a prefect and prefect duty is MORE IMPORTANT than a mere teacher and his/her request for assistance"?

If that is the case and being a prefect does indeed make a person MORE important than a teacher in position, influence and power, then why is it that we(prefects) still have to respect them and avail ourselves to them? WHY, then, do we still have to help them arrange chairs during morning assembly? WHY, then, do we still have to greet them the moment we see them? WHY, then, do we STILL have to HELP TEACHERS distribute morning exercise sheets to students?

If being a prefect is indeed that BLOODY GREAT, why is it that the teachers aren't the ones offering us assistance and us, prefects, demanding that they(teachers) serve on our every whim and fancy!?

Do forgive me for my incessant and somewhat incoherent rambling, but I was, as you may know, shouted at, screamed at, reprimanded and scolded for...what else? HELPING A TEACHER...HONOURING A TEACHER'S REQUEST...

So, again, pardon me for being irate and somewhat disgruntled. Is it even worth it? I ask you, is it even minutely BLOODY WORTH it?

death...

2009-08-06T20:26:00.003+08:00

Death, not the most pleasant sight, nor is it the most blissful sensation - to family members. However, one thing is certain - it sure feels...liberating.

Nothing in this world can be ensured. Take for instance the man in the above picture; he's dead...whether or not he wanted it.

One thing, however, is certain and that is the fact that many people the world over will come together in merry and jubilant euphoria if I died.

When talking of death, one might feel apprehensive...even scared. However, I find myself felling calm and still quite sane.

Let's face it, I'm used to a life of solitude and exile. Death is just a release from this...cask.

"Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as `Nevermore.'

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the bird said, `Nevermore.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never-nevermore."'

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!"

The poet of the above masterpiece, sadly, died five years after it was written. The persona lost his wife and longs for her. In all respect, he would go as far as to take his own life just to be able to be with her again...welcoming death with open arms and waiting for seraphim to take him upon his wings.

I likewise, safe for a wife and beautiful literary panache, am just waiting for Grim to come knocking on my door...like I have many times before.

let it be...

2009-08-06T13:23:00.003+08:00

Woke up today feeling greatly weakened and somewhat irritable. Forced myself to school and kept my eyes open for the duration of which I was there. Took a few pictures...and got reprimanded for that too. Came back from school during BM(Razak's not too happy).

The Lord is my shepherd I shall not be in want;
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters;
He restores my soul. he guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil for you are with me;
Your rod and staff they comfort me;

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. you anoint my head with oil;
My cup overflows;
Surely goodnes and love will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Oh did I mention there was a party in 4 science 1 today(if you hurry, you might get some leftovers) all due to the reason that I am sick and dying...not reason enough for you to celebrate?

not my week...

2009-08-05T21:50:00.002+08:00

Wednesday's here, I'm already dreading the rest of this week and the irony of which is - this week isn't even four fifths over.

Let's take a stroll back through time...back to the 31st of July - Friday. Right after song dedications were adjourned to a later point, somewhere this week, I felt a hint of that unending dryness one might feel when faced with an impending and inevitable sore throat on the rise. What made it worse was that I had overestimated my vocal abilities during RP practice that very day and, hence incurred the wrath of a full-fledged sore throat. By Monday, it was rearing its ugly head.

Heck, I'll be the first to admit that I've done silly things in the past, but none could compare to playing football during Monday PE lessons with a burning sore throat to boot! OH! Here's a little side note for you, along with my sore throat, my arsenal and repertoire of ailments don't end there. I also have(still am) muscle aches, dizziness, lethargy, fever(although a little subsided now), spontaneous nausea attacks and did I mention that I also have a raging sore throat? The only thing differentiating me from a pregnant woman is that I don't have sudden cravings for chilly crabs or parfaits.

Basically, Monday was the worst...Tuesday and today weren't too bad maybe 'cept for the occasional coughing out of a lung, wheezing of an old geezer and flaring of temper from the same old man who coughed out a lung, wheezing and to top it off, forgot to take his meds that morning.

Do forgive my incessant ranting on about my poor health...can't hold a grudge against a dying man of age 61 now can you? Gee, there's gonna be PE lesson tomorrow and they'll be playing football...now, where did I put my walking stick...

at the beginning...

2009-07-31T22:11:00.004+08:00

We were strangers
Starting out on a journey
Never dreaming
What we'd have to go through
Now here we are
And I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me
I was going to find you
Unexpected
What you did to my heart
When I lost hope
You were there to remind me
This is the start

And...

Life is a road and I want to keep going
Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers
On a crazy adventure
Never dreaming
How our dreams would come true
Now here we stand
Unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

And...

Life is a road and I want to keep going
Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
Now I know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

And...

Life is a road and I want to keep going
Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

Life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river, I wanna keep going on....
Starting out on a journey

Life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is river, I wanna keep flowing
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you.

seven tears...

2009-07-24T20:23:00.004+08:00

Seven tears have
flown into the
river

Seven tears are
runnin' to the sea.
If one day they
reach some distant
waters

Then you'll know
it's sent with
love from me.
Here I stand
head in hand
Lonely like a
stranger on the
shore.
I can't stand this
feeling anymore.
Day by day
this world's all grey
And if dreams were
eagles I would fly

But they ain't
and that's the reason why.
Seven tears have
flown into the
river
. . .

Oh
my darling
oh
my pretty lady

Golden star that
leads to paradise.
Like a river's
running to the ocean
I'll come back to
you fourthousand
miles.
Here I stand
head in hand . . .
Seven tears have
flown into the
river
. . .
Oh
my darling
oh
my pretty lady
. . .
Seven tears have
flown into the
river
. . .
Oh
my darling
oh
my pretty lady

Bayside - Winter...

2009-07-22T21:16:00.000+08:00

When winter falls next year,
I’ll be holding on to anything nailed down.
As for being patient,
With fate and all it's getting old.
And my mind is slowly changing.

I’m calling all my oldest friends,
Saying sorry for this mess we’re in.
And I’m waiting, waiting,
For the sun to come and melt this snow,
Wash away the pain and give me back control, control.

An angel got his wings and we'll hold our heads up,
Knowing that he’s fine.
We’d all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime.

Should we still set his plate?
Should we still save his chair?
Should we still buy him gifts?
And if we don’t did we not care?

It makes you think about the life you've led,
The shit you’ve done, the things you've said,
And its grounding, grounding.
I’ve been feeling 3 feet tall this month, hardly indestructible,
But the snow melts and the rhythm still goes on.

An angel got his wings and we'll hold our heads up,
Knowing that he’s fine.
We’d all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime.

Friends stay side by side.
In life and death you’ve always stole my heart.
You’ll always mean so much to me it’s hard to believe this.

These nights in vans,
These nights in bars,
Don’t mean a thing with empty hearts.
With empty hearts.

An angel got his wings and we'll hold our heads up,
Knowing that he’s fine.
We'd all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime.

Friends stay side by side.
In life and death you always stole my heart.
You’ve always meant so much to me it’s hard to believe.
So much to me it’s hard to believe.
So much to me it’s hard to believe this.

I guess I'll know when I get there...

2009-07-20T18:43:00.003+08:00

Lone Wolf.

As he lays his weary head on a rolled up jacket, nothing but silence of the desert and rustling of tumbleweed for company. Tried as hard as he could, sleep just wouldn't come. Every now and again, He'd find himself staring up into inky black skies.

From a distance, he hears a hawk scream. A smile creeps onto his scarred, worn face. In that moment, he is reminded of the Red Indian Apache's war cry which resembled a scream that of a hawk.

Instantly, he is brought back to his past some twenty odd years ago.

A tattered camp-site stood before him and he looks down to find a smoothbore musket in arm. Scanning his surroundings, he notes the arrival of rival Apache clans upon the horizon. Alerting others to the imminent danger and taking cover, he lies in wait.

Battle drums blare and in less than a minute, the native Apache army was ripped asunder. All survivors were rounded up and put to the firing squad. As the commander shouted the signal, all the survivors screamed in unison the Apache war cry - "SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHA!" Just as soon as it began, their screams were ended by a volley of gunshots.

The loner soon returns to the present and is greeted by the hawk taking perch on a tree stump next to him. He recognises the bird, not as a fiend nor foe, but that of a long lost friend. Smiling, he asks, "Come to take me to where you've gone have ye?"

departure

2009-07-17T17:23:00.004+08:00

Momentary jubilation and euphoria turned to anguish and grief...all in a new york minute. An eagle stands perched atop a roof. Further out, a hawk can be seen circling about a patch of buildings. "Old wives' tales" said a lone man to himself as he observed the birds. Pausing from his walk, he observed the two beings. "So powerful, yet so different in symbolisation" he thought to himself.

Walking on down the street, he heard a friend call out his name; a friend he hadn't contacted since...lord knows when. In that moment, all woe melts away and time stands still as the two engaged in vivid, nostalgic reminiscence from times of yore.

An hour later would find them in a modest bistro down by the quay. Outside the humble establishment, fog starts to set in; foghorns blare, warning ships on open seas. The pair finishes their coffee and makes for the entrance.

When they got outside, rain came drizzling down and as the first volley drummed down on their shoulders, so did the hawk and the eagle - each taking perch on their respective person.

Lightning.

A bright flash and now, his friend is gone. A lesser man would have broken down in tears, but not he. No. He accepted his friend's sudden departure. With eyes closed, he prayed for her - hoping that she will remain happy, jovial, cheery, convivial, blessed and above all, beautiful.

A smile, now, creeps onto his face as he walks away into the night.

flicks of life...

2009-07-16T18:10:00.006+08:00

Sitting...waiting...watching...writing. Pens scratching across surfaces that once used to be some part of a tree. Looking around, the only things visible are silhouettes of students; of bygone friends, and memories from times of yore.

As seconds tick by and minutes turn to hours; a simple reminder is all it takes to denounce all comfort that an hour brings. As the saying goes - "lyke a man that in peril of drowning catcheth whatsoeuer cometh next to hand...be it neuer so simple a sticke".

Tightening his grip on a lone pen, he resumes his writing on what was once an empty sheet of paper. Heat, creeps in lazily to the enclosed room. Its occupants soon find themselves overwhelmed by drowsiness and lethargy.

Summoning the last of his strength, he scribbles down his answer...impatient to get the damned thing over with.

It is done.

Heaving a sigh of relief, his muscles relaxes and the pen that was clamped to his right hand earlier slides down to its final resting place - a green canvas pencil case. Leaning back into his chair, feeling all recalcitrance melting away, a feeling of euphoria and jubilation takes over...for he knows that, now, freedom welcomes him into her loving arms.

beliefs...

2009-06-25T16:43:00.003+08:00

Dark and gloomy in the streets. Moonlight shinning overhead illuminating walkways and, otherwise dark, alleys. That was the way certain parts of the old town looked. Down one lane, you'll see a man rummaging in bins for scraps of yesterday's dinner for his lunch.

Further on down the road, you'll be greeted by two black sedans and a hearse. Not really a sight of opulence, rather, one of poverty, desperation and death. It's a cold world we all live in...cold enough to freeze hell. The people in these parts were the lucky bunch.

How lucky though, is another matter. They are lucky enough to have a house to scavenge from and a proper funeral to not be forgotten by others. These sights will really change one's perspective of life and how cruel it really is. I for one have been exposed to the harshness for almost a lifetime now...don't seem too long considering I am just a teenager.

Just like the aforesaid hobo, alone in the world with nobody to rely on but himself...life played him out to an impoverished life. In the end, it'll be his turn to play the part of a passenger in the hearse.

It's coming back...

2009-06-09T13:20:00.004+08:00

It all started with claims and has now grown into a furore. Light shown down from the lamp post, illuminating my path as I walked. Ever so often my mind would slip back and forth between the present and the past and of how I come to be alone on this lonely night without the company of anyone except for the lone hawk perched up on top of a nearby traffic light.

As I neared the traffic light junction, a honk and a scream later, the hawk is gone and now I am standing on the corner of the street; all pain is now gone...taken away. The driver of the car then steps out and starts hurling insults. After approximately five volleys of insults thrown at me, he gets back into his vehicle and drives off into the night.

The next moment, I am in his car - sitting in his passenger seat. He can't see me, can't hear me, can't sense me...it's like I am a ghost to him; perhaps I am. A few traffic lights later, the same hawk I saw earlier swooped down and landed on an approaching lorry.

Too late...the lorry was hurtling towards a classic De Tomaso Pantera GTS at a speed of 150 miles an hour. Hours later the scene was crowded with policemen, paramedics, firemen and, standing on the corner of Stokes and Heaven, an angel - Grim. He had claimed two souls that night...the first in which he was a hawk and second as himself.

Nobody ever found the lorry or the cause of the Tomaso's crash and the reports were filled and the case was closed with the usual "SOLVED" stamped onto its file...never to be enquired again.

These days...

2009-06-08T00:20:00.002+08:00

Head groggy and a little sleepy, I looked at my handphone and its mid light was blinking - that meant I had a new message. Taking a look at my handphone, it told me that I had 4 messages in total. The first one was "I hereby gracously extend my wishes and tidings of joy on your 16th Birthday. May you gladly accept this greetings of mine and be delightful always. :)", followed by "Hey bro, no ah...Birthday boy ah, wish u hv a very hapi birthdae o^^Ooi...", third was "Happy bday!" and the last was "Happy birthday!!" I guess that those of you who sent them know who you are and I thank you.

As day rests its weary head, its shift is taken over by night and when it came round, I recieved another volley of messages. Some of them were sweet and short while others were sentimental. Again, I extend my heartfelt thanks to all who remembered my birthday...in turn, I'll probably try to remember yours; or I can always check on a certain class blog.

Sorrow

2009-05-31T21:44:00.002+08:00

As my dreaded alarm clock rang aloud, signaling the end of my peaceful slumber, I stole a glance at my calendar- 31st of May year 2009. In a little over a week; 8 days to be precise, something important will take place and nobody will remember it, nobody will celebrate it, nobody will care for it.

Even I don't know what the event is, for, I simply just crossed out that date on my calendar and conveniently forgot to add a footnote...I was hoping that the pretext of an important event would help me remember.

Casting that aside, I had set my alarm to wake me in time for a little midnight hunting. Loading up my Glock 21 and my trusty Benelli M4 Super 90 to the teeth with 9mm hollow points and 12 gauge buck shots, I was ready for my little hunting trip.

Leaving the house, I decided against driving to the hunting point since it was a little less than a mile away and so I decided to hoof it instead. During my walk, I found myself reflecting upon my past and how disappointing it was. There were times when I was a plain jerk; and that was almost all the time, times when I was obnoxious and repulsive. Oh, how I wish I could take back words and actions that were said and done in the past. A look up and a hard bang on a sign pole brought me back to reality..."YAUTCHZA!!! What in the blue blazes is this dratted sign doing here!" reading it, it said "State Game Land 42, Westmoreland County".

That sign had always been there ever since the first day I started hunting in this county and it was placed there by the very people who cared about others in case they got lost, the sign would give them their bearings but, I never noticed it until a second ago. I had been so engrossed in my thoughts that I never really noticed...but, when I think about it, we all pass by everyday taking others' care and concern for granted until it's gone then we long for it...but, once in a while, God has a tendency to grant us second chances.

Speaking of second chances, I hope my friends can find it in their heart to forgive me for my past wrongdoings and allow me a new beginning...but we all know nobody will forgive my past

this old guitar

2009-05-15T22:47:00.004+08:00

This old guitar taught me to sing a love song
It showed me how to laugh and how to cry
It introduced me to some friends of mine
And brightened up some days
It helped me make it through some lonely nights
Oh, what a friend to have on a cold and lonely night

This old guitar gave me my lovely lady
It opened up her eyes and ears to me
It brought us close together
I guess it broke her heart
It opened up the space for us to be
What a lovely place and a lovely space to be

This old guitar gave me my life my living
All the things you know I love to do
To serenade the stars that shine
From a sunny mountainside
Most of all to sing my songs for you
I love to sing my songs for you
Yes, I do, you know
I love to sing my songs for you

place your own title here...

2009-05-07T21:02:00.006+08:00

Midnight, I awoke, under the shade of what seemed to be an ash tree. "How long have I been asleep?" I asked myself, looking up through the gaps in between leaves I saw the moon shining down upon me, illuminating all my surroundings. Looking around me I saw a girl, someone familiar, but I couldn't place her at the time. It was like I've seen her somewhere and talked to her before, however, that part of my memory seemed fuzzy.

Walking over to where she stood, catching glimpses of her face, it was truly a masterpiece. She had pale skin that looked almost flawless in the glow of the silvery moon. As she became aware of my presence, a turn of her head and with it a smile that seemed more to herself than as acknowledgment to someone. Five steps later and the image of her seemed to flicker and a few seconds after, it was almost as if she was only an apparition. Now, I am truly alone and left to my own devices, with no sign of salvation or anyone to help me.

song to best describe my life...

2009-05-03T01:56:00.002+08:00

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
You tell me your blue skies fade to grey
You tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Because you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well, you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oh.. What a horrible day..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong (ahhh...)

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh, you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

'Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

(Oh, yeah, yeaaah, yeah)
Had a bad day
(Oh, had a bad day)
Had a bad day
(Oh, yeah, yeah, yeeeeah)
Had a bad day
(Oh, had a bad day)
Had a bad day...
Had a bad day...

life's a joke ainnit?

2009-04-15T21:57:00.008+08:00

A guy goes to four of his best friends and asks them, "do you have some change?". What do you think their answer was? Is it too hard to tell? I'm sure that you'll answer the same thing they did, won't you?

The first friend answered, "In times of recession my dear friend, it is often necessary to sever all hindrances". The second answered, "A friend in need, is a pest indeed.". The third, after over-hearing the former asking the latter, decides that it was his cue to turn heels and he made himself scarce. The fourth however, was a little kinder, he asked the friend who wanted the money, "how much would you need?". Five months after borrowing the money from his fourth friend, the guy ended running up loan of which it was fifty times the amount borrowed from his "friend".

Not quite the ending you were hoping for were you? Were you maybe, in your mind, thinking that they would give the guy some spare change and that you would say "Yeah! That was what I would have done too."? What if I told you now that the guy wanted spare change of 500,000.00 (ringgit, dollars, pounds, rupiah...choose one you know of) would you then, still think the same way? Would you then still be as altruistic as you were when we started this sordid story?

Those "friends" of his, were(in order of appearance): a business man, a cynic, a mole and a loan shark. Now that you know the guy's unsavory taste in friends, will you leave him be just like his friends did? Discrimination against a person because of his/her race is considered racist, discrimination against a person because of their gender is considered sexist and discrimination against a person because of their social status is, however, considered as envy. A man eats and drinks with someone of high social standing gets ignored by his clique. Similarly, a man who dines and lavishes in the company of ruffians, he too will be shunned out of the rather esoteric community of his narrow minded friends. I can relate to the guy's many hardships, for, I have experienced the same treatment from my "friends"; if you may. That's why he will never be alone, for, he shall have me as a friend when and where he has none.

Will you do the same and accept someone for who they truly are, like I do?
Or do you reject them, go out of your way to ~~see~~ make them suffer?
Will you be his friend, like I do?
Or will you hate him just because others do, which do you prefer?

2009-04-13T19:22:00.003+08:00

Don't you know I had a dream last night,
In it, I was by your side,
Keeping you safe, warm and from fright,
Being with you, made many a day bright.

Now, you've upped and left,
Now, there's nothing I've left,
You insisted that you were right,
Now, the taxi's waiting for you on the road to the right.

If I could take back all I've said,
I would, but, pity that it's already been said,
Words you see, can easily pierce even the most tender of hearts,
And words, you'll find, like those are usually from the speaker's heart.

Every time I tried to tell you,
The words just came out wrong,
So, I'll have to say I love you,
In a song.

never tried to write a poem before, the above is just an experiment to gauge just how appalling my poem-writting can truly be.

a day in the life of me...

2009-04-11T18:44:00.003+08:00

A day in my life could be summarized as hectic, chaotic, infuriating, atrocious, monotonous and filled to the brim with hundreds of people who do not appreciate me; to a certain degree, that is. Take today for example, it all started at the front gate when Mr Bobz requested that I round up all prefects for a meeting in our school's hall. What did I get in the end of it was a strained calf (I don't mean the young of cow) and in the end, the only good outcome was that it opened up opportunity for me to get straight to taking pictures of some cool volleyball action.

Anyhow, lets not make this post all about my playing truant, but rather, a recap of what happened in school today. First up, got my name written down by a prefect for being half a minute late...I swear, they are getting more efficient each passing day. then, as you may know, I got picked to rouse up the lot of prefects. Third, I was updated on a list of project(s) by the relevant teachers and most of them have the same deadlines i.e. 20th of March 2009. That's about all I guess, but, that is about all that I can think of at this point in time. If I missed anything out, I hope you'll surely pardon.

little thing called life...

2009-04-10T20:36:00.005+08:00

It's supposed to be "good friday", but, I don't really know why it's called such. Just so you know, "good friday" is also known as Holy Friday, Great Friday or Black Friday. Black Friday and Holy Friday I kinda understand, however, I see nothing Great in the Friday that Jesus was crucified. Why though was he crucified, why did everyone want him dead when we all claim to love him, believe in him, trust in him and yet desert him when he was sentenced to such a gruesom death, and why do we suddenly turn to him in times of trouble? Aren't we then amounting to hypocrites?

Do we take after Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Jesus to the romans or do we take after Jesus, who taught us all to forgive those who trespass against us and pray for those who prosecuted us. More often than none, you'll find that most of us who claim that we love god, do not practice what we preach.

In the end, it's not what we make ourselves out to be in the future that is important. Rather, what we do to get there. If we get fame and fortune but attain it through means worthy of being termed Judas-like, then, you're not really worth a dime arent ye? However, if you are as selfless and kind as Jesus was...lets just say that even if you arent big in this world, you'll be big in god's eyes.

dreamin' again

2009-04-06T19:16:00.001+08:00

          D      D/C#  D/B   D    G    D
Don’t you know I had a dream last night that you were here with me
D     D/C#  D/B     D      Em   A
Lying by my side so soft and warm
      D        D/C#      D/B    D     G    D
And we talked a while and shared a smile, and then we shared the dawn
    Bm    F#m  Em7    A
But when I woke up, oh my dream, it was gone

         D      D/C#  D/B   D    G    D
Don’t you know I had a dream last night that you were here with me
D     D/C#  D/B     D      Em   A
Lyin’ by my side so soft and warm
       D        D/C#       D/B D     G           D
And you said you thought it over, you said that you were coming home
    Bm    F#m  Em7    A
But when I woke up, oh my dream, it was gone

(D G D)

           Em7    A               D       D/C# D/B   D    
I’m not the same, can you blame me, is it hard to understand
          Em7    A               D        D/C#    D/B   D  Em7 A
I can’t forget, you can’t change me, I am not that kind of man

         D      D/C#  D/B   D    G             D
Don’t you know I had a dream last night and everything was still
D        D/C# D/B   D      Em   A
You were by side so soft and warm
     D            D/C#    D/B  D G   D
And I dreamed that we were lovers, In the lemon scented rain
    Bm   F#m     Em7    A
But when I woke up, oh I found that again

    D     C      D
I had been dreamin’ Dreamin’ again
    D     C        D    C  D
I had been dreamin’ Dreamin’ again

Jim Croce - Age

2009-04-06T00:41:00.001+08:00

Ive been up and down and around and round and back again
Ive been so many places I cant remember where or when
And my only boss was the clock on the wall and my only friend
Never really was a friend at all

Ive traded love for pennies, sold my soul for less
Lost my ideals in that long tunnel of time
Ive turned inside out and around about and back and then
Found myself right back where I started again

Once I had myself a million, now Ive only got a dime
The diffrence dont seem quite as bad today
With a nickel or a million, I was searching all the time
For something that I never lost or left behind

Ive traded love for pennies, sold my soul for less
Lost my ideals in that long tunnel of time
Ive turned inside out and around about and back and then
Found myself right back where I started again

And now Im in my second circle and Im headin for the top
Ive learned a lot of things along the way
Ill be careful while Im climbin cause it hurts a lot to drop
When your down nobody gives a damn anyway

Ive traded love for pennies, sold my soul for less
Lost my ideals in that long tunnel of time
Ive turned inside out and around about and back and then
Found myself right back where I started again

simple...

2009-04-06T00:07:00.004+08:00

It's officially Monday again...I receive a sms from an inconsiderate ingrate. The time at which the sms was sent will make anyones blood boil. She had the gall to send me a message at 11 PM, ~~asking~~ demanding me to give her all the photos I have of our school's event...who will be awake at a god forsaken time like that, I ASK YOU!!

Lets get back to the original point of me updating my blog at this god forsaken time. Yesterday was the drama competition...some of us were superb, while others were...well, lets just leave it at that. I've somehow got a feeling that I'm actually missing something, something important...OH, we clinched second place!!

Thats about all that I can blog with my mind's current capacity...imagine being awoken by an sms at 11PM! I'm sure you'd be grumpy too, not to mention groggy and unable to think properly let alone construct a grammatically correct sentence...*gotta remind myself not to end my blog entries so abruptly next time*

I'll have to say I love you in a song...

2009-03-31T22:04:00.001+08:00

Well, I know it's kind of late
I hope I didn't wake you
But what I got to say can't wait
I know you'd understand
'Cause every time I tried to tell you
The words just came out wrong
So I'll have to say I love you in a song

Yeah, I know it's kind of strange
But every time I'm near you
I just run out of things to say
I know you'd understand
'Cause every time I tried to tell you
The words just came out wrong
So I'll have to say I love you in a song

'Cause Every time the time was right
All the words just came out wrong
So I'll have to say I love you in a song

Yeah, I know it's kind of late
I hope I didn't wake you
But there's something that I just got to say
I know you'd understand
'Cause every time I tried to tell you
The words just came out wrong
So I'll have to say I love you in a song

TV shows can teach good English too!

2009-03-19T18:46:00.003+08:00

25th anniversary dinner!!

2009-03-10T19:00:00.013+08:00

This is my coverage of the first 25th anniversary dinner that was organized by SMK Sri Tebrau which was held 25 years after it first started operations back in 1984.

As always, Siow will do his best to look outta place...

The paparazzi of the year award goes to johboy2418, freedomchick, ever-reclusive Mr 3356128 and the ever desperate - desperado!

The banner of the event.

The emcee for the event...Here's the emcee doing voice-overs
And here's the emcee playing 'spot the irritating photographer'.

Finally, Mr Toh shows us he's boss.Awww, doesn't Mr Toh look like the small guy in austin powers?

YB Mr Mok and PIBG chairman Mr Michael..."how did this picture get here, I wonder..."

Not too sure what this is all about but all subjects look happy...

Mr Tajinder: "And over there is the toilet"

The three...musketeers?

I told you not to pose like that didn't I?

Mr Sharir's representative: "Why are you smiling at me like that?"

I'm sure there's no need for introductions...

Oook...why is he smiling and looking at me?...oh, i'm the photographer...

He's supposed to be important...I think...

YOU THERE, DON'T POSE WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL!!

Cannon 30D body: RM 2500
Sigma 18-200mm lens: RM 1800
Canon Speedlite 580-EX Mach-2: RM 1600
A picture of Lawrence Yap Jia Yew clutching his collar: PRICELESS

So...this is what they see

"Be prepared to become fan-natics"

Wah...dancing half-way can still pose ah?

Wait, last I counted there were six...where'd the other one escape off to?

So, number six ran off with Mr Bobby huh...GO BOBBY!!

A smile finally crawled its way up Mr Bobby's face, which is normally devoided of expression.

GROUP PHOTO!!

Mr Toh, you sly dog you!!

The three...amigas?

How in the...did you multiply so fast?

2009-03-07T22:51:00.010+08:00

Sports day is a day of momentary jubilation, anguish, pain, fainting and whatnots. The following is merely a documentary of the said event. Please note that I am not responsible for any lasting psychological damage of any subjects portrayed in any picture. Any resemblance to real person(s) in real life is purely coincidental...viewer discretion is advised.

Why are they staring and smiling at me like that?

St John

Guides

"We eleven kings of orient are..."

PBSM!

Charge for that mic stand!

Ninja training I suppose?

Out of the many spartan runners...

Only three prevailed.

"You prisoners listen up, today may very well be your last day to run..."

The newest running tactic - pose as if you were bowling

Speed limit : 5 km/j

Heave-Ho...hurry up and pull from them!

Heave-ho...hurry up and give to them

3rd guy: OI HON MENG!!! FROM LAST BLOG ENTRY UNTIL
NOW YOU STILL CONSTIPATED AH?!

1st guy: HOI!!!HON MENG, STILL CONSTIPATED AH YOU?!

No wonder scouts were not marching, they were there all along

Lim: "Tiang, these prizes are for you"
Tiang: "Lim, are they really all for me?"

Rumah 'biru'

Rumah 'kuning'

Rumah 'PBSM'?

Scouts...third if I'm not mistaken...and all they got was a miserable hand-shake

Red Cross 'healers of the day'

RED FLAG!!!! THAT MEANS WAR!!!

They were there all this while...

Suk - antara

2009-02-28T12:01:00.009+08:00

Sukantara. What is it?, why is it held?, where is it held?, what are the events being held?, and most importantly...Why must Siow run and pose the same way he did in our 3UIA class photo?

Here is the picture in question...he's gonna kill me, I know...
Here is the picture of the day. The winner is AFIQ. He proved that you can be a winner even if you are a snail.
I assume that I have come to the correct reception?
Zul: "Nampaknya macam duit saya"
Brian: "A-John-na, you follow the exercise afterwards more better."
John: "HUH!You want me to slap you? afterwards we need to help that teacher. That part is most best."

Ms Azean, please accept my condolences.

Looks like someone in the background has a fling of his own.

St John girl: "Oooh! sooo man!"
Li De: "Everybody, I dropped my money. Help me look for it."
I said best foot forward...not best head!

Why are they coming at me like that?!?!
1st guy: "Why you all so far my behind"

"1st, 2nd...where are the rest?"

A) Is that guy in blue dancing?
B) Is that my shadow - bottom left?

Pn Patricia: "ZK! DON'T YOU DARE PUT ONE TOE OUT OF LINE!"

HOI PARROT! GET IN YOUR LANE!

"Ray, jump properly, there are some girls watching you!"

"Bao Leong, will you stop being so...blur?"

"This is the last time I took part in a hunchback event"

Fang Pang: "At least John's cheering me on"

CHARGE!!!!!!

CHARGE!!!
CHARGE???

"Somebody, inoculate miss Azean...FAST!"

Bobby: escaped prisoner,
Pn lee: affraid of the prisoner,

1st guy: MATRIX!!!,
2nd guy: "I need to use the toilet...where is john?"
"OI!! Why you all so far away?"

1st guy: "Hoi, Hon Meng! Now is not the time to be constipated!"

1st guy: bad stomachache
2nd guy: sees the photographer and poses
3rd guy: "Which one of you two in front farted?"
Teacher in red: "You were supposed to aim at them!"

calligraphy - part 2

2009-02-26T20:28:00.009+08:00

Call-I-Gra-Py - mainly cultured scribble...

2009-02-26T18:24:00.022+08:00

Back in the olden days, prehistoric men used chalks or stones to sketch their daily gallivanting expeditions and its outcomes. I.E. : "I saw a cow!" Usually, that would be expressed in hieroglyphs as a few sticks and a circle resembling a modern day "smiley" - that trend should have died out by now. Instead, students pick up these long extinct skills only to have them written in their exercise books. Anyway, just to prove to everyone how historical Sri Tebrau students really are, the Chinese Society organized a calligraphy competition. The outcome of which, I'm afraid is still unknown but if you're interested to know what such things look like, below are a few photos. Don't worry, I've had 'em watermarked just in case someone gets past the right-click barrier...someone by the name Sam...

Here they are, the first few participants waiting to be handed their red-letter. Look closely, the one sitting down wearing a white shirt seems to be asking something from the one wearing beige. He's probably saying "Hey bud, have a light?"

This is the makeshift reception and there's the new guy in class(the one wearing yellow, nearest to you readers). Notice the guy standing over him, he's probably pointing out an error in his name...him and everyone else.

A picture truly paints a thousand words (in my case sentences). One of which would be "why are the other two empty chairs?".

Guy in foreground: tries to magically tears his red letter.
Girl in background(with hand in bag): tries to magically produce a rabbit.

Hall's filling up!

So, that's where all the "yellows" congregate.

I don't remember receiving any of those...

Looks like four intruders in the east wing