Six...

There are six things about her that I love.

From her smile to her hugs

Or her prowess behind a stove

Or maybe even her fear of bugs.

That's only four, I know.

But what about her radiant glow?

Or the way she makes me feel

Like she can melt a heart of steel...

Here's six more things you may not see:

The love I know she feels for me;

The way her smile lights up the room;

The light floral scent of her perfume;

The way I smile when we talk;

How easily I can imagine our life together;

How she holds my hand when we walk;

And here's a bonus - how we also plan for forever.

On second thoughts, I don't think I can

Distill down all the things I love about her

In to six simple lines or a simple poem;

It'll be like summarising the etymology of the word Fleur.

But those were six stanzas that hopefully tell

The feelings I have for her well.

Because since she came into my life

I've never been happier to call her my wife.

Past Futures

What have I done to deserve you?

You who always thought you were right.

You who I saw right through.

Always at arm's length and within sight.

What have I done to deserve you?

The girl who was wrong for me.

The girl who made it hard to breathe.

Always wanting to leave, never setting me free.

What have I done to deserve you?

The one who would have been the last.

The one who claimed love, but was just a farce.

Now, an unpleasant memory in the past.

Empty walls and cold bare halls;

No love left to give; no hope left to live.

Or so it would have seemed, just then.

 When, along she comes, a divine gift to receive.

Where once was cold and empty,

Now joy springs eternal.

Where doubt once lingered and festered,

Now certainty seems all but a hurdle.

Now, what have I done to deserve you?

You who are the smile on my lips when I wake,

You who are the love of my life,

You who are now part of every breath I take.

The past, darling, that's where it'll stay.

Our future together, that's my privilege.

May we age together as a fine vintage,

And may we brave it all, come what may.

Her...

Her;

No love is truer;

No woman stronger;

No smile brighter;

 

No day happier;

No story sappier;

No heart purer;

All this, only when I’m with her.

 

Her Side...

 

memories...

 

 

Behind This Man...

Sifting, sorting, organising,

Through old memories, old project files.

I see who I'm becoming

Through years of trials.

Each notch, each 'partner'

Left her lessons, her...effects;

Taught me to be wiser, to be cautious...

Now left with a heart less than perfect; full of defects.

Looking at her now, as she sleeps by my side

I can't help but let out a smile that's a bit too wide.

I was brash and quick tempered

Now, with her affection, my aggression is tempered.

There was so much, before, that I could say in poetry.

Now, I struggle to find even the simplest words to say,

Fearing that none of what I write can ever portray

Just how amazing she is in any conceivable way.

She's The One

At last, at long last.

I've felt this way before

But that was in the past

Now, I feel it right to my core.

She sees right through my lies

That everything is fine.

She knows each and all of my cries

And the bullshit of every line.

There's no call for acting when she's around.

It's such a feeling, so profound.

For her, I'd happily kneel on the ground

And present her a ring, so very round.

Yes, I'm finally happy,

Finally free.

After all the tribulations we got through to get here

I can finally say it was worth it, my dear.

Wasn't Expecting That...

It's been some time since I got out of Johor. There is one person I miss. It's rather funny. All those relationships wherein we say to each other - I miss you....yet...here's the one person I hardly say that to and they're the one I miss the most above everyone else.

Yes, it's 3AM in the morning, what else were you expecting me to be doing other than to wax poetic about life, love, and everything in between.

All those relationships...they now seem rather superficial and...vacuous, in every sense of the word. Take one that I was in, for example. This girl thought it'd be a good idea for her to go gallivanting all over Europe for three months and share rooms with other guys, but when I have to take some time away from the relationship to take care of my grandmother, she has a God damned issue with it. The hypocrisy of it all. She can go have her fill of fun and it's alright, I have to take care of my granny and it's a capital offense.

Then there's this other girl. She always knew what just to say to offend. Lord knows why I even agreed to that relationship in the first place. Here's a sample of what she said to me - "After being with you, I realise what I don't want in a relationship". Take a good look at yourself, miss, you ain't the catch of the century. Look, I don't mind pulling out all the stops and treating a gal right. There is, however, a very real issue of diminishing returns. I hate driving, but during our dates, I drove. That, right there, isn't where diminishing returns come in, it's just the beginning. I made sure that she didn't spend during our dates, or, at the very least, didn't spend too much...I can't very well control her, now can I. When I realised she liked drinking a certain beverage too(Malta), I made sure to always get that for her when I could and got extras just so she could bring them back. I tried talking to her about her day and tried to understand her as well as her family. Now, allow me to ask, what did I get in return? She wanted to tag along one day while I had to work and while getting to her place would not upset my plans, I got to her place and still had to bloody wait for her to get ready. Then, en-route to the job, she tells me she forgot her phone, luckily it was just right outside her place anyway, so we made a u-turn back to get it. This wait and detour threw an extra hour onto my plans and I missed the shots I wanted to get for the job. Diminished return. What can I say, that instance and many others made it feel like what I was getting from the relationship wasn't worth the time nor effort.

Don't get me wrong, these ladies I've had in my life, they were caring and loving, and some of them even kept it that way all throughout the relationship...those, I'll be the first to admit, I let them down and should have treated them much better. However, there's so much more to just being caring and loving...and before you start going on about why don't I tell them what's wrong, believe me, I've tried. After some time, I just find it easier to keep quiet. Saves me the effort and the breath. Besides, I find it a lot more effective to give people a dose of their own medicine - she's not putting in effort into the relationship, let's see how she feels when I don't. Note, that's only when talking doesn't get through to them...which, believe me, happens every damned time.

Now, looking at the empty sky outside my window, it's not the memories of a ghost that keeps me happy, nor the way I've been treated well in the past that brings a smile. It's one person that keeps me waking up every day and makes these days here on my own that much more bearable.

If you somehow manage to find this post and is reading this. Thank you. I love you.

Acrostica...

Heavy is the head that wears the crown;

Only smile you’d find is on this clown;

Never have I felt anything but down;

Even faking a smile to hide a frown;

Seems like everyone wants to see me drown;

Time, I guess, to leave this town.

Dear readers, I wanna try something different. Send in your acrostic poem on any theme. This one is for being Honest. Let's come up with a poem that is made up of stanzas from your acrostic poems.

Her...

Her eyes sparkling in the winter night.

Shining like diamonds, clear and bright.

Her breath, slow and light.

Her beauty, truly a wondrous sight.

Her finger traces my chest slowly,

Stroking gently, warmly.

Her lips curled seductively,

Pulling me in alluringly.

She likes her tea without sugar,

She likes her food without much salt,

She likes baked potato and a certain tofu,

She also likes mushrooms to a fault.

She sometimes acts silly in the car,

She has nightmares that can go real far,

She knows her worth in life,

But isn't ready to be a wife.

Her eyes sparkling in the snowy night.

Shining like stars, clear and bright.

I see all this in her, and more,

Her, the woman I adore.

Blackout...

Sand.

It's everywhere.

Feels like there's a hole and sand is falling out, getting everywhere.

Yet, going nowhere.

Memories are starting to fade...or...they're missing entirely.

Silence.

Silence so disconcerting that even the droning of jet-plane engines would be preferable.

The process started some time ago. Started for entirely different reasons. Reasons that I can't quite remember now.

Was it to make my life better...or was it to be a better person...was it for someone. Can't remember anymore.

Therapy.

Mayhaps the intention was pure.

Wanted happiness...was it for myself...was it for a girl...can't remember anymore.

Something isn't quite right...can't remember anymore.

Memory.

Shards sharp enough to cut.

Can't remember.

Was told that this was the choice.

Can't remember what...why...

I think I'm happy.

Birthdays.

When will this ever stop?

This seemingly endless cycle of wanting to move on, yet feeling guilty in the end and then tossing myself back into holding onto fragments of memories like a broken record stuck on a loop.

Funny thing, birthdays. They'll bring joy one moment at having lived yet another year. Then the next thing you know, they'll bring sorrow for having lived yet another year...especially when the only ones you celebrate it with are ghosts. Alright, not ghosts as in the plural...perhaps just one ghost.

I've always told people that I don't celebrate my birthday and that it's just like any other day, there's nothing special about it. What I could never bring myself to say to them was, and still is, that the last time we spoke was on my birthday. Your final words to me were wishing me a happy birthday.

Every year since then, I've sat by your side watching the sun's rise and set. This year, however, I missed it...thinking it would help me move on. All it helped me feel was even more guilt.

So, here goes. 

Happy belated birthday, my love.

I miss you, dearly.

These Streets...

Funny how love works.

It shows a different side

To everyone.

All we can do is go along for the ride.

I used to walk down these streets...

I recall the chemists, the bars, the chilly breeze.

Then we walked down these streets...

I then recall the florists, the cafes, the bakeries.

We saw the world with the other in mind.

Before you, I must have been blind.

I never noticed the finer things

Like the smell of fresh bread, coffee, or a bird as it sings.

Funny thing, love.

It shows a different side

To everyone.

And I'm thankful I found her, my bride.

In Her Heart...

She sighs,

Listening to the rain.

She had gone through the highs,

But the lows truly held the most pain.

She sips her tea,

Thinking back to when,

She had loved, passionate and free,

But she holds no regrets for what she did then.

She needs no man,

Feeling her own independence inside.

She shapes herself in any way she can,

Without any man by her side.

Little did they know,

That deep down inside her hopeful heart,

She had always longed to be part of a team;

A unit that understood one another, never to part.

She sighs,

Listening to the rain.

She longs for someone who’ll help her to new highs;

Someone, for whom, her pain wasn’t all in vain.

Alone...

I like how

You said you’ll always be my friend.

I like how

You said that it would never end.

I like how

You said you’ll always care.

I like how

You said you’ll always be there.

I like how

You promised to always love me.

I like how

You said together forever, we’ll always be.

Yet, here I am,

Alone.

Not a single message,

Nor a call on the phone.

It’s as if you forgot I exist…

How could you leave…

 What did I do wrong…

How do I overcome this grief…

You left, saying things won’t change.

You left, wishing me a happy birthday.

You left, shattered dreams and memories.

You left, nothing more to say.

If you’re reading this,

I hope you’re doing well.

Yes, I know it’s all in the past

And I’ll try my best not to dwell.

But…you said you’ll always be my friend.

You said that it would never end.

You said you’ll always care.

You said you’ll always be there…

Beloved's Belated...

I miss you.

Our long talks at night,

Our long walks in the park,

Your natural radiance in the moon's light.

How you'd adorably tap your brow, deep in thought;

Your ritualistic yawning and stretching every time you awoke;

Your cute fibs about cooking whenever food's storebought;

Your precious pouting when you're broke.

I pray you'll know,

I did not forget.

I just could not find bring myself to write

About a date that's thus sad.

Even a decade on,

After you've gone,

I still can't say we're done

I'm still your Chandler and you'll always be my Mon.

Yes, this is somewhat late,

But I hope you'll accept it anyway.

Though I'm not there to bring you on an actual date,

I wish you a happy birthday.

Ab Imo Pectore...

If you could have any wish come true,

What would you wish?

For glory, fame, and fortune to follow you;

Or for revenge to be served on a dish?

I confess, a single wish just won’t do.

There’s so much to wish for,

And many things to settle too.

Makes me wish that there’re more wishes in store.

Her caring nature puts angels to shame;

Her childishness makes everything a game;

Her fiery temper sets things aflame;

Her melodious voice gives music its name.

Underneath it all,

She wants someone who will be hers,

Someone who catches her when she does fall,

Someone who will accompany her through her fears.

My final wish

Is for her to find all that and more;

To find the person of her dreams;

To be the one that they’ll adore.

Parting Gift...

As the years pass,

There’s little left to say.

As the sun sets on what will be, at last,

The final chapter of the day.

Weeks past have been magical.

Frolicking by the beach,

Watching the sunrise, and breakfasts in bed.

Happiness, it seemed, was never far from our reach.

Now it seems time has come,

He’s here to claim me.

Yes, I know it’s Grim,

But there’s no other option I can see.

Do not shed a tear,

For we won’t be apart.

I’ll leave you my song,

And when you miss me, listen to it with your heart.

Two Souls...

Two souls embraced,

Dancing the night away.

Both so deeply intertwined

That their smiles held all they needed to say.

He wishes for her to know

Just how much he loves her so

And the lengths to which he is willing to go

Just to see her happy, radiant glow.

She sees his love, but fears

That she does not deserve him so

And that if he sees her scars, he will go,

Leaving her with only the company of her tears.

Two souls embraced,

Dancing the night away.

Each, lost in the other's arms

Unto the last light of the day.