A wise man once said “It’s NOT an
obsession to love animals. It’s only an obsession if you eat them whole, bones
and all.”
It’s a well-known fact that most
people with obsessions will never admit to having an obsession. Probably
because it feels so natural to them, they don’t realize it to be an obsession.
In their defence, they sometimes resort to making up non-existent quotations which
they usually attribute to some wise men. Let the record reflect that I do not have an
obsession. Besides, I only have sixteen life-sized dinosaur replicas in my
store room - hardly counts as an obsession.
What is obsession? It’s a persistent
disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or a feeling. Either
that or it’s a perfume by Calvin Klein retailing for US$49 (1.7 oz). Since there is only so much one can write
about a bottle of perfume, we will go with the first definition instead.
So, how do you tell if someone is
obsessed? Here are some tell-tale signs. An obsessed person will usually repeat
his statements because he’s afraid the listener may not understand him. Did you
get that? Let me repeat, an obsessed person will usually repeat his statements.
Sometimes obsessed people repeat their statements repeatedly. Just so you are
clear.
A person with a full blown obsession
about something will try to learn everything there is to know about the object
of his fixation. No effort will be spared in going through related books, blogs,
documents, movies, consulting friends, experts, likeminded obsessed people, and
then creating elaborate websites devoted to whatever he is obsessed about like plagues,
genocide or worse, Justin Bieber.
Next, pretty much like in a
relationship, an obsessed person would want to take the thing home to meet his
parents. Now, kids, this can be very disturbing; especially for the parents. I
knew a guy once who told his parents that he was going out with a doll named
Barbie. Yeah, Barbie was a real doll. Did you get that? Barbie was a doll, a
real doll. Her full name was Barbie Mattel.
Then there are the impulsive purchases
which cannot be explained away. An obsessive person may go out shopping and get
something that he already has; be it a smartphone, an Ipod or another Justin
Bieber album. We frequently come across
retired teachers who buy up a whole litter of cats and assemble them all in one
spot to relive their glory days of lecturing to a class. Each cat will be given
its own name and assigned a seating position with the class monitor sitting
right out front. Since cats are, by nature, noisy and disobedient they are the ideal
substitute for students.
The final and most worrying sign of
obsession is that you’ll find the subject constantly talking about something in
superlative terms accompanied by excessive animated hand gestures … and foaming
uncontrollably at the mouth. When this happens, you don’t have to worry because
he’s in no danger of dying anytime soon, but you may want to avoid physical
contact with the nasty saliva just in case it really is rabies. Incidentally,
these people are so taken up by their obsessions they usually neglect their
social life, personal hygiene and even forget to die when their time is up.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this article as
much as I’ve enjoyed writing it. Now if you will excuse me, I need to walk my
dinosaurs. The two bigger ones Barney and Dino have been feeling restless
lately.
Written
by Jeremy Chiew V Jin, Johor Bahru. 6 Oct 2012
p.s. submitted this for nie publication...feedback appreciated
