Scents...

She sat in front of me on the bus this morning. Lingered about her was a scent. It was one that I was all too familiar with, but also a total stranger to.

Science has proven through research that certain scents have the power to bring back memories from days of yore, memories we'd least expect to remember and memories...I buried a long time ago.

This girl, I did not know her and she likewise, but there was something about the perfume she wore and...it reminded me of...her.

Tell me, is this your way of telling me that you are still here? Is this your way of letting me know that you've never given up on me and that you are watching over me?

Question upon question flooded my mind; questions to which no answers came.

Tell me, please, if you are indeed still around here somewhere...what am I to do? I can't just move on and let go of our past. I feel so...hopeless...so useless.

Sometimes, when I think back to all the happy moments we shared, it almost always seem to assuage my grief.

But I guess, in the end, that was God's way of making me pay for my ways. For not cherishing you enough.

And when I think of you now, I can't help but wonder if you still remember me or if I can still call you mine...I guess we'll never know

Since thoughts of thee doth banish grief,
when from thee I am gone;
will not thy presence yield relief,
to this sad Heart of mine:
Why doth thy presence me defeat,
with excellence divine?
Especially when I reflect
on auld long syne.

Be Well...

Rain stains, snowy windowpanes.
Rats roaming about alleys and drains.
Footsteps drifting down a lane.
Muffled by heavy rain.

As I sit and stare.
Looking blankly at emptiness.
Surrounding me is an air.
An air of loneliness.

Reminiscing of fond memories.
Of how we used to be.
Of how we had no worries.
But now, it's just me.

Sitting alone, in darkness.
In despair.
The night feels endless.
Breathing in the cold air.

Anguished and distant.
Ireful and cavalier.
How appearances change in an instant.
A cuirassier may just appear scragglier.

The clock is ticking.
Counting my final hour.
I shall be leaving.
And remembering our past amour.

Where we go from here.
Nobody can tell.
But I shall wish for you, my dear.
Be well...

Joshua Radin - Paperweight...

Been up all night staring at you
wondering what's on your mind
I've been this way with so many before
but this feels like the first time
you want the sunrise to go back to bed
I want to make you laugh
mess up my bed with me
kick off the covers I'm waiting
every word you say I think
I should write down
don't want to forget come daylight
happy to lay here
just happy to be here
I'm happy to know you
play me a song
your newest one
please leave your taste on my tongue
paperweight on my back
cover me like a blanket
mess up my bed with me
kick off the covers I'm waiting
every word you say I think
I should write down
don't want to forget come daylight
and no need to worry
that's wastin time
and no need to wonder
what's been on my mind
it's you
it's you
it's you
every word you say I think
I should write down
don't want to forget come daylight
and I give up
I let you win
you win cause I'm not counting
you made it back
to sleep again
wonder what you're dreaming...

Human Nature Is Predictable...

Let's play a little game. I hope you don't find me irritating for I will be giving my own comments throughout this and, if at any time you find it annoying and truly infuriating, you are free to leave. The rules are simple - give your honest answer to the two questions presented in this little 'quiz' and at the end of it, you shall find out how much of a human you truly are.

Now then, have you gotten everything down? If you do, GOOD! Let us begin. Don't worry, all you have to answer are either A or B.

1. If you were in a sinking ship which contains 399 live jackets and 401 people on board, would you - A) be a part of the 399 people with some hope of survival; or B) be one of the other 2 that goes down with the ship?

Go ahead, I know you want to answer B and paint a better picture for yourself, but when the time actually comes, you'll be shoving your way through the throngs of people just to get your hands on one of those jackets...which was what you were probably thinking when you saw the choices presented in this question. Well, bad news - you probably didn't notice the spelling error in "live jackets"; please note that they are not the same as life jackets and the 398 other people would most likely drown along with you because they were just as selfish.

Now we move on to question 2

2. If you were held at gun point and presented with two choices of - A) A remote is handed to you and you are asked to detonate a bomb that is planted in one of the busiest streets in New York; or B) You get shot and possibly die of said gun shot, but on the other hand, no bomb blows up and nobody else dies. Which will you choose?

Interesting isn't it? On one part of the equation you live while hundreds and maybe thousands lose their lives and loved ones; on the other part, you die and will never get to say how much you love your parents, siblings, et cetera. This time there are no spelling errors, no ships and no cool jackets that rockers wear during their live performances; just you, a remote to some deadly bomb and a chance to pay a visit to Lucifer.

Of course, I know you'd pick B...seeing how noble you must be, but will you still have the guts to pick the same choice when you're really staring down the barrel of a loaded Benelli Legacy?

Now, with all that's said and done, do you still want to continue?

If you want to know how much of a human you truly are I suggest you look at your friends and ask yourself - will you have the courage to die for them...for any one of them - like Jesus did for those he knew and all others whom he didn't, but loved anyway. Or will you hurl snide remarks about others behind their backs, insult them in their face, kick them when they're down, ostracise and humiliate them publicly and, the best of all, betray everyone you know just to get some worthless reward just like what Judas did unto Jesus?

A Puro Dolor...

Perdona si te estoy llamando en este momento
Pero me hacia falta escuchar de nuevo
Aunque sea un instante tu respiración

Disculpa se que estoy violando
Nuestro juramento
Sé que estás con alguien, que no es el momento
Pero hay algo urgente que decirte hoy

Estoy muriendo, muriendo por verte
Agonizando muy lento y muy fuerte

Vida, devuélveme mis fantasías
Mis ganas de vivir la vida
Devuélveme el aire...
Cariño mío, sin ti yo me siento vacío

Las tardes son un laberinto
Y las noches me saben
A puro dolor...

Quisiera decirte que hoy estoy de maravilla
Que no me ha afectado lo de tu partida
Pero con un dedo no se tapa el sol

Estoy muriendo, muriendo por verte
Agonizando muy lento y muy fuerte

Vida, devuélveme mis fantasías
Mis ganas de vivir la vida
Devuélveme el aire

Cariño mío, sin ti yo me siento vacío
Las tardes son un laberinto
Y las noches me saben
A puro dolor

Vida, devuélveme mis fantasías
Mis ganas de vivir la vida
Devuélveme el aire

Cariño mío, sin ti yo me siento vacío
Las tardes son un laberinto
Y las noches me saben
A puro dolor

Perdona si te estoy llamando en este momento, pero me hacia falta escuchar de nuevo, aunque sea un instante tu respiracion

Rain...

Drops of water falling freely from the endless firmament above. Each flash of lighting brought back memories of past long forgotten; every crashing thunder roared its vehement disapproval of what I've become...what I currently am.

So very fast indeed...time has passed almost in a blur. I can still recall those gay times spent in the curtilage when the welkin, clear and azure, rang with our squeals of joy; our carefree happiness...where have they gone?

A smile manages its way onto an impassive face; rain being comfort and shelter all at once...rather ironic isn't it? Armies scattered asunder by storms when all claim to brave it; mighty empires brought to their knees by the forces of nature herself and sports events were rained out, but don't clouds have silver linings? It is that lining that provides sanctuary even in the darkest of times.

The rain is over now and I'm jolted from quiescence by Helios willing the sol over darkened skies, illuminating paths and walkways...but how much brighter can it shine in a world this bleak?

Freedom...

Dust settles about a mist shrouded room as the clock strikes, chiming the glorious tunes of two in the afternoon. Everyone's in motion, gathering their belongings and rushing off for their respective appointments. Scrapes of rubber soles upon concrete floor reminiscent of a pack of birds taking flight.

Is it jubilation; is it fear or is it numbness that fills all our hearts? Causing us to be aloof and indifferent to how others feel.

Now, after all that's said and done,
are we really free? Can we truly say that it's all in the past?
It was a good run,
but what do we leave behind if not ash and dust?