"What separates us apart"? That was a question someone once asked me. Incidentally, that same person was also the one who said that "I can understand how you're feeling now because I, myself, have been there before".
He was one of my many teachers; teaching me the finer use of the English language. He engaged me in a debate using those very words - "What separates us apart?" and this was how it went:
He: Tell me Jeremy, how different are we? You went to school like I once did. You endure homework like I once did. You have friends like I do. So, how can you say that we are different?
Me: School, yes; you were there like I am now. Homework, yes; like the sort you give me now. Friends...I'm sorry, I hardly recognise the term anymore.
He: How can you say that?
Me: How? Simple, just remember all the bitter memories pertaining to the seven lettered word and the sentence comes out naturally; it's as snake venom coursing through your veins.
He: Perhaps you took their jokes to heart? There is really nothing bitter about friendship.
Me: Perhaps there isn't, perhaps there is. You say "jokes"...I call it 'jibes'. Seriously, how much of a joke would it be if your "friends" kept going out of their way to humiliate you on an almost daily basis?
He: What if you tried treating them a little better?
Me: TREATING THEM BETTER?!?! You're kidding me right? I get to class everyday and the first thing I do is sit at my place and mind my own business...I hardly strike up a conversation with anyone. So, how is that considered treating them BADLY?
He: So, try socialising with them.
Me: Ever heard of "once bitten twice shy"?
He: Yes I have, but maybe they want to test your defences?
Me: Defences? Haha...what do I look like to you? a Panzer? Or a walking fortress?
He: Ok, how do they humiliate you exactly?
Me: Let's see, there was that time during the Editorial Board's election. When a certain class monitor's name was mentioned, EVERYONE raised their hand in assent. When my name was mentioned, however, EVERYONE slammed their hands down on their tables to make their point clear.
He: And what point was that?
Me: That I was...unwanted company.
He: That was only one incident.
Me: Oh, in that case, what would you consider stuffing strips of waste paper into my bag? A WELCOMING RITUAL?!?! And what would you say to not allowing me to play in their team during Physical Ed? What about the whole class keeping quiet when asked about my whereabouts especially when I've already told them? Or the time when I was helping a teacher when I got shouted at, screamed at, insulted and aggravated? If you lived my life, sir, you wouldn't call them "friends"...especially after all they've put me through.
He: Well, people just don't attack without provocation. You must've done something to bring about their ire.
Me: You're a psychologist now? I go to school and keep mostly to myself when, here comes these guys; "friends" you called them, start picking on me. In fact, I wouldn't mind if they left me well alone, but they just have to go about their mornings thinking "how can we make Jeremy's life a living hell today?" and the worst of it is, they make those thoughts a reality.
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That was part of the conversation I had with my teacher. Notice how he's always trying to see the good in people? In fact, the contrast between his and my attitude is so great that only the blind won't see it.
That's the difference between him and me...he prefers to see good in people and be disappointed, whereas, I much prefer to see the worst in people and watch my predictions come true...and that is what differentiates cynics from optimists.
welcome to my humble all-purpose virtual abode.
see the worst in everyone and you won't be disappointed...
Let's say there are three people in a room. Now, let's say that they're named "A", "B" and "C". Take "B" and imagine that person is a student from class 4 Science 1 (or any class of SMK Sri Tebrau that comes to mind), now, name that student any name you want...if you are thinking that student "A" or "B" dies a painful death and wanted to name either of them "Jeremy", think again...for illustrative purposes, I'll retain the student's name as "student".
At this point, "A" holds student at gun point and asks that (s)he uses a rusty dagger to kill "C". Now, you have a choice of either having "C" be Brian(the handsome guy from 4 Science 1) or Jeremy(the majority's hated cynic).
I shouldn't have bothered to give you guys a choice...knowing all of you, you'd have picked "C" to be Jeremy.
Now, I'll tell you how the scenario will play out and how it'll end.
If you picked "C" as Brian(which is absolutely unlikely), this is how it would play out.
"A" aims a gun at student's head.
"Use that dagger and drain him" said "A" to student, indicating Brian.
Reluctantly, student picks up the dagger and does the deed. After the former dies, "A" decides that anyone capable enough of killing someone thus handsome poses a danger to society as well as themselves. So, "A" kills student; wipes his prints of the gun and places it in Brian's hand.
And now, if you picked Jeremy(which I'm very sure most you did).
"A" aims a gun at student's head.
"Use that dagger and drain him" said "A" to student, indicating Jeremy.
The student will, without hesitation, of course do as (s)he was told and happily thrust the dagger right through Jeremy's parietal bone and embed it in his hypothalamus.
"A", upon seeing that the world is rid of one hated cynic, decides that he and student were doing a good deed. So, "A" and student leave satisfied that everyone's wish has indeed been granted and most people need no longer trouble themselves to make life hell for one person in particular.
In all respect, if it was someone you hated to the very core, you wouldn't think twice about ending their lives. But, if it was someone you cared about, you might even give your life just so that person could be safe.
At this point, "A" holds student at gun point and asks that (s)he uses a rusty dagger to kill "C". Now, you have a choice of either having "C" be Brian(the handsome guy from 4 Science 1) or Jeremy(the majority's hated cynic).
I shouldn't have bothered to give you guys a choice...knowing all of you, you'd have picked "C" to be Jeremy.
Now, I'll tell you how the scenario will play out and how it'll end.
If you picked "C" as Brian(which is absolutely unlikely), this is how it would play out.
"A" aims a gun at student's head.
"Use that dagger and drain him" said "A" to student, indicating Brian.
Reluctantly, student picks up the dagger and does the deed. After the former dies, "A" decides that anyone capable enough of killing someone thus handsome poses a danger to society as well as themselves. So, "A" kills student; wipes his prints of the gun and places it in Brian's hand.
And now, if you picked Jeremy(which I'm very sure most you did).
"A" aims a gun at student's head.
"Use that dagger and drain him" said "A" to student, indicating Jeremy.
The student will, without hesitation, of course do as (s)he was told and happily thrust the dagger right through Jeremy's parietal bone and embed it in his hypothalamus.
"A", upon seeing that the world is rid of one hated cynic, decides that he and student were doing a good deed. So, "A" and student leave satisfied that everyone's wish has indeed been granted and most people need no longer trouble themselves to make life hell for one person in particular.
In all respect, if it was someone you hated to the very core, you wouldn't think twice about ending their lives. But, if it was someone you cared about, you might even give your life just so that person could be safe.
It's always a question...
"Do good or do nothing at all. We'll die anyway. You sound like you wanna die young, but why?"
Those were the words of an acquaintance of mine in reply to a certain article I wrote some time back. The question in her statement was - why do I seem a little too eager to depart this world?
Now, in reply to her question, allow me this question. What is it in life that is worth living for?
Is life really worth all the effort we spend trying to make a name for ourselves? Is there anything in life that one would die for?
In fact, there are people dying every day of the week. There are those who die from knife wounds, gun shot wounds, vehicular manslaughter, or even, death by corrupt police officers. That list goes on for miles.
In case anyone got lost in my barrage of words, my point was and still is - with all the hell that the world is slowly becoming accustomed to, is it wrong for me to wish for an early escape?
Perhaps that wasn't an accurate answer. Well, what else would you expect from a sadistic, sarcastic, sardonic, cynic like me?
Maybe, you were expecting me to say that I am wishing for death because society shuns me; "friends" ostracise/alienate me; everyone goes out of their way to make life hell for me.
There! I said it. Is THAT good enough an answer to justify my desire for an escape?
Those were the words of an acquaintance of mine in reply to a certain article I wrote some time back. The question in her statement was - why do I seem a little too eager to depart this world?
Now, in reply to her question, allow me this question. What is it in life that is worth living for?
Is life really worth all the effort we spend trying to make a name for ourselves? Is there anything in life that one would die for?
In fact, there are people dying every day of the week. There are those who die from knife wounds, gun shot wounds, vehicular manslaughter, or even, death by corrupt police officers. That list goes on for miles.
In case anyone got lost in my barrage of words, my point was and still is - with all the hell that the world is slowly becoming accustomed to, is it wrong for me to wish for an early escape?
Perhaps that wasn't an accurate answer. Well, what else would you expect from a sadistic, sarcastic, sardonic, cynic like me?
Maybe, you were expecting me to say that I am wishing for death because society shuns me; "friends" ostracise/alienate me; everyone goes out of their way to make life hell for me.
There! I said it. Is THAT good enough an answer to justify my desire for an escape?
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