differences...

"What separates us apart"? That was a question someone once asked me. Incidentally, that same person was also the one who said that "I can understand how you're feeling now because I, myself, have been there before".

He was one of my many teachers; teaching me the finer use of the English language. He engaged me in a debate using those very words - "What separates us apart?" and this was how it went:

He: Tell me Jeremy, how different are we? You went to school like I once did. You endure homework like I once did. You have friends like I do. So, how can you say that we are different?

Me: School, yes; you were there like I am now. Homework, yes; like the sort you give me now. Friends...I'm sorry, I hardly recognise the term anymore.

He: How can you say that?

Me: How? Simple, just remember all the bitter memories pertaining to the seven lettered word and the sentence comes out naturally; it's as snake venom coursing through your veins.

He: Perhaps you took their jokes to heart? There is really nothing bitter about friendship.

Me: Perhaps there isn't, perhaps there is. You say "jokes"...I call it 'jibes'. Seriously, how much of a joke would it be if your "friends" kept going out of their way to humiliate you on an almost daily basis?

He: What if you tried treating them a little better?

Me: TREATING THEM BETTER?!?! You're kidding me right? I get to class everyday and the first thing I do is sit at my place and mind my own business...I hardly strike up a conversation with anyone. So, how is that considered treating them BADLY?

He: So, try socialising with them.

Me: Ever heard of "once bitten twice shy"?

He: Yes I have, but maybe they want to test your defences?

Me: Defences? Haha...what do I look like to you? a Panzer? Or a walking fortress?

He: Ok, how do they humiliate you exactly?

Me: Let's see, there was that time during the Editorial Board's election. When a certain class monitor's name was mentioned, EVERYONE raised their hand in assent. When my name was mentioned, however, EVERYONE slammed their hands down on their tables to make their point clear.

He: And what point was that?

Me: That I was...unwanted company.

He: That was only one incident.

Me: Oh, in that case, what would you consider stuffing strips of waste paper into my bag? A WELCOMING RITUAL?!?! And what would you say to not allowing me to play in their team during Physical Ed? What about the whole class keeping quiet when asked about my whereabouts especially when I've already told them? Or the time when I was helping a teacher when I got shouted at, screamed at, insulted and aggravated? If you lived my life, sir, you wouldn't call them "friends"...especially after all they've put me through.

He: Well, people just don't attack without provocation. You must've done something to bring about their ire.

Me: You're a psychologist now? I go to school and keep mostly to myself when, here comes these guys; "friends" you called them, start picking on me. In fact, I wouldn't mind if they left me well alone, but they just have to go about their mornings thinking "how can we make Jeremy's life a living hell today?" and the worst of it is, they make those thoughts a reality.

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That was part of the conversation I had with my teacher. Notice how he's always trying to see the good in people? In fact, the contrast between his and my attitude is so great that only the blind won't see it.

That's the difference between him and me...he prefers to see good in people and be disappointed, whereas, I much prefer to see the worst in people and watch my predictions come true...and that is what differentiates cynics from optimists.