The Long & Winding Road...

As we traverse through life, we will surely come across some sort of obstacle, in one form or another. It is then that we wish we could have a place or sanctuary to retreat to and pay no heed to our worries and drown our sorrows.

A lone stranger walks down a narrow street in the heart of London. High above, like escorts, falcons hover. It has been rumoured that he came from some dark, distant, war-torn place. Only two things are fairly certain about this stranger. One, he is no stranger to battle and two, he has of a heart of stone.

Sidewalks echo footsteps of, what was once, uniformed marching of the 1st Infantry Division. Years of service to country and in the end all he received was a "Thank You, Sir!", his severance pay and a pat on the back from some paper pusher wearing a fake smile.

All his life he has seen violence, bloodshed and grief...it begs the question - which is more scarred? His body or his mind? Once in a while, his mind wanders off to that gay time in 1917 when The Big One was first formed and they were sent in to help the allied powers. His first sight was that of headless bodies and dismembered corpses...the perfect welcome scene isn't it?Nightmares soon haunted our soldier. Many a night he would awake in his bunk horrified by the images of those who he could not save. 

Down the street, our stranger enters a bar to drown his troubles. Not a day goes by that he doesn't wish to turn back time and make things right. Falcons outside take perch on roof tops and street lamps.

As the stranger downs his last glass, he makes for the entrance. Freyja marks him as he exits the bar. She does not forget those who escaped her.

The stranger was never to be seen after that day. Many fabricated their own myths and legends about him. Some say that you can still hear the sound of boots marching down as the sun sets.

But, I would much rather believe our stranger has gone to a sanctuary of his own...one that has neither limit nor bounds. 

I do not have the luxury of a perfect life, nor do I have the desire to see it through anymore...

Despair...

Ever felt like you were drowned in sorrow and helplessness so deep that you couldn't see or breathe or feel anymore? It's like your whole body just went numb, your mind freezes over and you just can't think properly anymore.

It all began with a flight...and so ended with a flight.

-----Departure-----

Staring out of the glass panels of Senai International Airport, a sense of apprehension clouded me...suffocating me. In a little less than an hour, I'll be boarding a plane to the city of cats. I stood up and decided to walk around for a bit. 

Time seemed to pass just like fog over the horizon. Then came the time to journey to a new island...one that I've seen before, but like all memories, they fade with time.

-----Arrival-----

The first few days were pleasant. Everyone held a jubilant air about them. It was all too easy to get intoxicated in the euphoria and exultation to come. Half the time, it was either too noisy or just too quiet. Then, when the time came, everyone got into the rhythm and set the mood just right.

Then again, how often is it that you get to see relatives that you'd normally meet up with once in half a decade? Being there just made it all seem like a long lost memory...being played over again after having been kept for aeons in the back of my mind. 

-----Mid-trip-----

Like flowers bloom from a little bud into a graceful, beautiful flower...the city changed significantly since I was last there.

Although some people never did change, those who did, really caught my attention; with their fluency in language, grace, elegance and charm.

-----Last day-----

This day was really fun...a few reasons actually. One, there were lessons to be learned and two, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

The lessons were learned during classes with a mango tree...a couple of badminton racquets and squash racquets too.

-----Airport-----

There we all were, bidding each other farewell and exchanging well wishes and hopes for the future. 

Then after all the good byes had been said, it then turned to solitary waiting for flight number AK 5847. 

Loneliness sets in and sadness eats away at whatever feelings there are left.

-----Home-----

Now I'm home...JB. But, I don't really feel like I've returned. I am but a prisoner here waiting for the day I'm set free...

Care To Prove Me Wrong?

What makes life the rubbish that it is?

Can it be that there is indeed some good in life after all?

Why then do we treat each other like this?

And why do we claim to care when we let others fall?

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We bask in the glory of others' demise.

We revel in the mysteries of the human mind.

We will wish bad of others, and others likewise.

For there is no such thing as being gentle and kind.

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Did you honestly think that fairness really exists?

Were you hoping for justice to prevail?

Bad news kid. The world you live in is filled with corruption and deceits.

And every crooked politician's got you bowing in vail.

Do You Think It's You...

Humanity is extremely passe. Everyone's new year's resolution SHOULD be - Hate more, Love less, Kill more, Care less, Blame others for everything that goes wrong, Claim credits for whatever everyone ELSE does RIGHT, Blatantly discredit Jeremy for everything he says, Vehemently disagree with everything Jeremy says that's got a point and lets not forget to respect TEACHERS...even if they insult you, call you a bastard, idiot, damned fool, etc.

I have to agree with a certain ex-class monitor who said "Not every teacher is a good teacher. There really are some inconsiderate teachers out there". Still, life goes on and we find ourselves having to respect these people who SHOULD be setting an example for us. Yet, I find that these people; teachers, if you may; are setting for us an example by insulting students, hurling snide remarks at students, defaming students, etc.

With that said, HOW can students still RESPECT teachers? Bear in mind people, respect isn't meant to be GIVEN...nor is it just a normal seven letter word either. To be respected is to be held in high regard or esteem by others. So, HOW can we look up to these foul mouthed beasts, monsters?

It is in my opinion that respect should be earned and not demanded. He can demand respect from every student in Sri Tebrau like the over-sized, insolent, incompetent, dumb, expandable, stupid, bloody, afternoon session, damned fool of a retarded Santa Claus replica that HE is. However, I for one, will never respect the likes of HIM. For he has not and he will never earn it.

Other teachers like Madam Gan Ser Kee, Sri Tebrau's soft-spoken and caring ex-counselor, have earned my respect for being tactful. Bobby, the prefect master, is caring and relaxed. Madam Wendy, Senior Assistant of Co-Curriculum, is energetic, laid-back, calm and fun. Ms Sheela, form teacher of 4 Science 1 (2009), is stern, loving, caring and altruistic. All OTHER teachers, in my opinion, are respectable. But, the MOMENT that any ONE of them DEMANDS respect, that is the moment they lose mine.

All the above said teachers have GAINED my respect because they never asked for it, they have enough humanity in them to HELP others yet hardly asking anything in return. It is this attitude of theirs that compels me to contribute as much as I can to repay them for the kindness, care, concern and time that they have given me all this while.

But, there is one teacher in particular who has neither rank nor file, yet he acts like he owns the whole school. Even as I type these words of damnation in MY blog, that teacher(if he were to read) would think that I'm referring to HIM. Please note, I did not say who this megalomaniac is...and I'm not as stupid as he is to divulge his identity here.

My point being, CERTAIN teachers SHOULD learn their place and the term "respect" is a point of view that is meant to be earned through acts of kindness and most soitenly not to be demanded like THAT bungling, bumbling, enlarged, obnoxious, math-failing, weighing scale illiterate, student-brawling, idiot.

Truths...

"A kiss is a promise, easily broken.
A hug is a lie, always unspoken.
A touch is fragile, so quickly taken.
A smile is elusive, so soon forsaken.

A friend is a person who betrays you slowly.
A lover is a person who treats you as lowly.
An equal is a person who doesn’t exist.
A mentor is someone better than this.

A life is brittle, unfairly crushed.
A funeral is a rite, so long untouched.
A death is a milestone, so often passed.
A life is something that can never last.

So take the promises even if they break.
Hold onto illusions despite that they’re fake.
Remember betrayal because before it was trust.
Remember the touches that lead into lust.

Love the lies that made you feel loved.
Hold to your place despite who’s above.
Follow the rites though they end only in pain.
Remember what you’ve lost for you’ve so much to gain.

Always remember the first sincere kiss.
Remember the truths that lead to it.
Remember the person you shared it with.
Remember the love that succeeded it.

Keep the memories that hurt you.
Hold onto the ones that cause pain.
Remember every broken heart.
In the end only memories remain."

Remember...

Forget not our days of joy.

When you and I, both fought for a toy.

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Today, as I walked down the street.

I saw Timmy dragging his feet.

But when I asked him why.

He answered me with a cry.

"Oh if only men had compassion.

How I will live life full of passion.

But alas, men are unkind and cold.

Yesterday, a father stood in front of the world.

His children amongst the crowd, watching.

Others, merely waiting.

On the stage mingled the rich.

A robed man was dragged from below to preach.

He spoke of the lord.

While the executioner sharpened his sword.

The preacher was then asked to pray for the convict.

That his soul be condemned to hell through an edict.

Murmurs arose in fleets.

Soon, everyone were on their feet. 

Order was lost, and peace was never found on that day.

Every protester and rioter were silenced the only way."

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Forget not our days of joy.

Forget not the times we'd cry.

Remember the happy moments.

Remember not the sad pasts.

But look instead toward the future.

And live for the present, in a green pasture.

For after this life is done.

And we're all gone.

Only one thing will remain.

Let that be the friendship we've attained.

Humanity and Human Nature...

A long long time ago I can still remember how that music used to make me smile. And I knew if I had my chance, that I could make those people dance and, maybe, they'd be happy for a while. But february made me shiver with every paper I'd deliver. Bad news on the doorstep;I couldn't take one more step.

The classic hit American Pie, whose lyrics are somewhat sad. The one thing I like about it is, the song never fails to remind me what a cold world I live in. The song tells the death of singers and assassinations of prominent politicians.

Take for example, Abraham Lincoln. He died by the hands of John Wilkes Booth, and John F.Kennedy whose murder case still has no verdict to date.

Why? Why do people kill each other? Whatever happened to humanity? Or is it just human nature that drives everyone to stab each other's backs? 

I can't say much for humanity, but I can attest to the fact that people, generally, would go to any lengths just to get ahead in life. I can't really say I blame them. After all, what are a few people who once considered you their friend when compared to the riches and luxury that you can attain by selling your soul, morals, ethics, beliefs, every bit of humanity in you and spinning falsehood about everyone just to get them into trouble?

Humanity is defined as the quality of being humane. Yet, all I see and ever get in this worthless life are people hurling insults at me, condemning me to hell every single minute of the day, trying to kill me, going out of their way to make life hell for me, stabbing me in my back, destroying my reputation, diluting my credibility and STILL, after all that, they EXPECT me to help them.

After all that I've seen, don't blame me, don't hold a grudge against me when I say that everyone's just a filthy hypocrite who praises the lord, but just as well worships the devil. So, God, if you do exist...what's happened to this world you created? Why is it now overrun with swines and incompetent fools who will not stop to look into a mirror?