incoherent rambling...

Several years ago, someone asked me - "What's life? What's worth fighting for anymore"? These days, I share the exact same sentiments of those before me as my predecessors have many years before and stared down the same exact long and winding route they called 'life'.

What am I really fighting for anymore? Was it the same thing I fought for when I started this arduous and lonesome solitary journey? Now, I find myself thinking of why I even started out on this journey anyway...I just feel like resigning to my fate and let Grim take me with him.

Just the other day, I was torn between being who I really am - a normal student of an extraordinary school; carrying out the duties of a prefect and honouring the request of a teacher...the third of which being my priority and also the one that got me scolded, reprimanded, shouted at and screamed at. Permit me now the honour of putting forth a question - Is all this even minutely worth fighting for?

All that I've strived for, all that I believed in...all denounced by one, apparently, misjudged decision - a flaw in judgement, if you may.

Was I supposed to say then, "NO! I WON'T HELP YOU sir/madam, because I am a prefect and prefect duty is MORE IMPORTANT than a mere teacher and his/her request for assistance"?

If that is the case and being a prefect does indeed make a person MORE important than a teacher in position, influence and power, then why is it that we(prefects) still have to respect them and avail ourselves to them? WHY, then, do we still have to help them arrange chairs during morning assembly? WHY, then, do we still have to greet them the moment we see them? WHY, then, do we STILL have to HELP TEACHERS distribute morning exercise sheets to students?

If being a prefect is indeed that BLOODY GREAT, why is it that the teachers aren't the ones offering us assistance and us, prefects, demanding that they(teachers) serve on our every whim and fancy!?

Do forgive me for my incessant and somewhat incoherent rambling, but I was, as you may know, shouted at, screamed at, reprimanded and scolded for...what else? HELPING A TEACHER...HONOURING A TEACHER'S REQUEST...

So, again, pardon me for being irate and somewhat disgruntled. Is it even worth it? I ask you, is it even minutely BLOODY WORTH it?